Sunday, June 3, 2012

People Watching is Similar to Watching The Discovery Channel: Part One

If you have ever sat down observing the people around you, then you know you can learn a lot from them. Especially, since the actions of some people are quite humorous. In advance, let me just say that I am not trying to make fun or ridicule those who actually act like this, but you have to admit from the observers view, it is quite funny.

For those who are unaware, The Discovery Channel shows a range of informative shows. Back when I was younger (the old school Discovery Channel) they used to show animal documentaries, which you can now see in one of the Discovery Channels network called Animal Planet.

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Scene #1

Deep in the wilderness of the Orange grasslands (Mall in Florida), creatures of the wild (people) assemble around their prey (shopping stores) in hopes to fill their stomachs (car trunk) full of pabulum (clothes, accessories, etc..). These creatures are not to be startled as they might attack you, thinking you are prey. I cautiously sit in a corner camouflaged in my best gear to not attract attention and quietly I observe the creatures of the wild.

1) The Ferocious Panthera Onca (Jaguar)
A.K.A. the bitches that will rip your eyes out if you don't hand over the $40 Gucci bag they have been eyeing since they got there.

I observe the Ferocious Panthera as she moves graciously towards her prey, her eyes full of hunger. She gets closer to her prey, trying not to draw attention to herself. She's closing in on her target, but WAIT! What is THIS?!  Another creature is closing in on her target and...



The Ferocious Panthera strikes again and takes control. Leaving her enemy wounded and taking her prey in hand.


Scene #2

Making way into Savannah, Africa (the Florida park two minutes away from my apartment) I immediately hear braying. As I approach my destination, the braying becomes louder to my fragile ears. Slowly without making any harsh moves, I take my place at a nearby tree (bench) where I see the braying creatures.

2) Striped Equidae (Zebra)
A.K.A The male that will fuck you up if you touch his woman or even glace at her.

I examine the individuals that are screaming at the top of their lungs, both of the male species. A female stands amongst them, horror stamped on her face. As the males begin to fight, the female screeches, but the males continue their battle. It is not clear as to what they are fighting about, but noting the females stance and the tears running down her face, something tells me she had something to do with it.



As you can see, the wild (the world) is full of vicious creatures (people) that will tear each other apart (literally) to get what they want (a woman, a Gucci bag etc...). This has been quite an eventful and educational experience (laughing my head off at all the bastards), but for now I must end the journey here (unless you want to hear about the doughnut guy).

Thank you for watching The Discovery Channel (Now Animal Planet) / (Hanny TV).

-Hanny the coffee bean


19 comments:

  1. I am a people watcher/observer person and yes, I find a lot of people behave like animals. Love the analogy!

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  2. Lol, great post and I love watching people too. It completely absorbs me when I'm out and about. Airports are one of the best places to see good specimens.

    This was a really creative and interesting way of sharing your observations! Loved it :)

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  3. I try to steer clear of "likes-to-fight-guy". He's pretty easy to spot though, with his too tight MMA t-shirt and flat brimmed energy drink logo cap. It doesn't take too much to provoke him. Pretty sure that's the same guy as example #2. :)

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  4. People are actually remarkably similar to animals. You just have to know what to look for. Things like this definitely prove it.

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  5. People watching is my favorite pastime. Never once have I been caught. If you're a wallflower like I am, the best place to people watch is at a party or a bar. The intoxicated make for great entertainment.

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  6. Haha people watching is very funny! I liked your take on it :) x

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  7. People watching has taught me that people are pretty crazy :)

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  8. People watching is my favorite sport. And, I want to hear about the donut guy.

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  9. Oooooh good analogy. I consider myself a professional people watcher. Only, you know, I don't get paid and no one cares about my profession but me.

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  10. The world is a dangerous and scary, yet fascinating place.

    Jay

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  11. I too am inappropriately interested in hearing about the donut guy. mmmm. Donuts.

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  12. I'm a people watcher too, but obviously I need to go to the places you go.

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  13. I had to add you to my blog roll. I can't miss this stuff!

    ray

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  14. People are fascinating creatures. A tad vile, but fascinating, nonetheless.

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  15. I love watching terrible dates. One of my first dates with my wife... was watching someone else's terrible date. The girl was cute but dumb as a box of rocks and the guy just looked SO miserable listening to her ramble about nothing. At the end of the night he still took her back to his place, though. Go figure, right?

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  18. LOL!!!

    Crazy people can be found anywhere I guess... ;o)

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