While I've Been Away...

Warning: the following post may or may not come across as being particularly bust-a-gut hilarious.

If you are new to this blog, I ask that you please read either this, this, or this post. They're comedic gold and provide a better representation of my zany humor than the post that will follow.

And if you want to read some more funny stuff, go here, here, here, here, here and here. Seriously. Go everywhere. You won't regret it.

Still there? Good.

My dear blogging friends: I realize that I have been quite absent from the blogging world for the past couple of months, mostly in the sense that I have not kept up with reading the majority of your own blogs that I know you have worked so hard at. For that, I can only offer my sincerest apologies. That wasn't very kind of me and believe me when I say that the guilt of not reading them has been weighing down on me.

As for my own lack of contributing to the internet, I'll admit that I have not been in the most creative mood as of late. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know for sure that I'm not depressed. However, it is starkly apparent to me that whatever creative fuel that was in my warped mind has stalled indefinitely. I haven't even felt like making cartoons. And I love drawing cartoons. As you long-time readers may agree, that, for me, is quite abnormal.

I'm not at a complete loss of creativity, though. My attention diverted to writing my first novel with fervor, and I've even begun to jot down aspects for the second and third novels. It's a conflicting stage for me. While there is no doubt that writing brings me joy, the more I progress with my work to finalize the rough draft, the more I am struck by the overwhelming sensation that what I'm doing is utter crap and a waste of time. (Did you catch the point that I am still on the rough draft?) I've begun to wonder if this feeling of self-dejection is normal (it is, to an extent), and I am trying to make it disappear so I can just get on with it.

And now that I think about it, I actually had some rather good blogging material. Here is a synopsis of what has been happening "behind the scenes" with my life.

1) I was nearly run-over by a car. The guy who nearly killed me didn't even bother to ask if I was all right nor did he apologize. He merely drove away to leave me standing in stunned disbelief in the middle of the crosswalk/zebra crossing. From that moment came the sobering realization that life is indeed quite fleeting and it set me into a passive-aggressive frenzy of wanting to finish writing my novels.

I hope that, someday, I can personally thank that guy for his rudeness to me. Whoever you were, thanks, you heartless, uncaring bastard. That frightening jolt with reality was exactly what I needed.

2) I helped my dear friend May over at Sand from a Distant Shore move out from Miami and drove her upstate. It was after said trip that I eventually discovered that a serving of Cadbury's Original Drinking Chocolate allegedly has 602 calories.

I then sent an e-mail to Cadbury UK and got a response a week later from Kraft Foods Consumer Relations stating that they will forward the information to the appropriate staff. Let's say that it was...slightly disappointing that I didn't get an e-mail from Britain.

3) I did, however, receive three postcards from a lovely Scottish friend of mine who also had the foresight to send me some buttery shortbread fingers...

Glasgow and Westies FTW

 ...and some *GASP* BRITISH CADBURY DAIRY MILK!

Hallelujah! It's the REAL stuff!

Also, my bedroom now has a wee stealth Nessie lurking about a shelf. I suspect that it likes its new home in Miami.

4) I went to visit my friend May a second time and officially became a hoarder of British food.

Seriously, folks, I need help.

5) On a completely unrelated note, I am considering doing my Master's program in the U.K.

Like, for realsies. I'll even spell "program" as "programme" and refer to quotation marks as inverted commas if needed.

I certainly haven't given up on my long-term dream of moving to France, but in regards to my education, I've been toying with this idea for a few weeks now and the biggest question I keep asking myself is "why not?" At least the university coursework will be in my native language...

U.K. pals, do any of you know of good universities you can recommend to me for a Master's program, preferably in literature? I figured that, at the very least, I should stick to what I know and enrich that knowledge.

Barb the French Bean

P.S.

Two Beans Or Not Two Beans turned two years old this month and I forgot to celebrate it. Oops.