Thursday, June 28, 2012

While I've Been Away...

Warning: the following post may or may not come across as being particularly bust-a-gut hilarious.

If you are new to this blog, I ask that you please read either this, this, or this post. They're comedic gold and provide a better representation of my zany humor than the post that will follow.

And if you want to read some more funny stuff, go here, here, here, here, here and here. Seriously. Go everywhere. You won't regret it.

Still there? Good.

My dear blogging friends: I realize that I have been quite absent from the blogging world for the past couple of months, mostly in the sense that I have not kept up with reading the majority of your own blogs that I know you have worked so hard at. For that, I can only offer my sincerest apologies. That wasn't very kind of me and believe me when I say that the guilt of not reading them has been weighing down on me.

As for my own lack of contributing to the internet, I'll admit that I have not been in the most creative mood as of late. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know for sure that I'm not depressed. However, it is starkly apparent to me that whatever creative fuel that was in my warped mind has stalled indefinitely. I haven't even felt like making cartoons. And I love drawing cartoons. As you long-time readers may agree, that, for me, is quite abnormal.

I'm not at a complete loss of creativity, though. My attention diverted to writing my first novel with fervor, and I've even begun to jot down aspects for the second and third novels. It's a conflicting stage for me. While there is no doubt that writing brings me joy, the more I progress with my work to finalize the rough draft, the more I am struck by the overwhelming sensation that what I'm doing is utter crap and a waste of time. (Did you catch the point that I am still on the rough draft?) I've begun to wonder if this feeling of self-dejection is normal (it is, to an extent), and I am trying to make it disappear so I can just get on with it.

And now that I think about it, I actually had some rather good blogging material. Here is a synopsis of what has been happening "behind the scenes" with my life.

1) I was nearly run-over by a car. The guy who nearly killed me didn't even bother to ask if I was all right nor did he apologize. He merely drove away to leave me standing in stunned disbelief in the middle of the crosswalk/zebra crossing. From that moment came the sobering realization that life is indeed quite fleeting and it set me into a passive-aggressive frenzy of wanting to finish writing my novels.

I hope that, someday, I can personally thank that guy for his rudeness to me. Whoever you were, thanks, you heartless, uncaring bastard. That frightening jolt with reality was exactly what I needed.

2) I helped my dear friend May over at Sand from a Distant Shore move out from Miami and drove her upstate. It was after said trip that I eventually discovered that a serving of Cadbury's Original Drinking Chocolate allegedly has 602 calories.

I then sent an e-mail to Cadbury UK and got a response a week later from Kraft Foods Consumer Relations stating that they will forward the information to the appropriate staff. Let's say that it was...slightly disappointing that I didn't get an e-mail from Britain.

3) I did, however, receive three postcards from a lovely Scottish friend of mine who also had the foresight to send me some buttery shortbread fingers...

Glasgow and Westies FTW


Hallelujah! It's the REAL stuff!

Also, my bedroom now has a wee stealth Nessie lurking about a shelf. I suspect that it likes its new home in Miami.

4) I went to visit my friend May a second time and officially became a hoarder of British food.

Seriously, folks, I need help.

5) On a completely unrelated note, I am considering doing my Master's program in the U.K.

Like, for realsies. I'll even spell "program" as "programme" and refer to quotation marks as inverted commas if needed.

I certainly haven't given up on my long-term dream of moving to France, but in regards to my education, I've been toying with this idea for a few weeks now and the biggest question I keep asking myself is "why not?" At least the university coursework will be in my native language...

U.K. pals, do any of you know of good universities you can recommend to me for a Master's program, preferably in literature? I figured that, at the very least, I should stick to what I know and enrich that knowledge.

Barb the French Bean


Two Beans Or Not Two Beans turned two years old this month and I forgot to celebrate it. Oops.


  1. Wooo 2 years old! Congrats :) I can't recommend a university because I don't know that many but I'm currently working with the Open University so I'm going to have to recommend them. It's all online (almost) anyway so you have plenty of time to see everything and be as British as possible. It would be awesome if you came to England, even if we never met or anything. We'd benefit from your awesome.

    It really sucks about getting hit by a car :( but you got something good out of it, amazingly, so I can kind of be okay with it. Almost. Congratulations with all the writing too. I know how painful it can be to not be able to write, or feel like everything you're doing is just bad. It's alright to feel like that, just don't stay like that.

  2. Congrats on the bday! Sorry you almost died - that IS scary.

  3. Yayaya! You're back! I'm so ecstatic that the hit and run didn't take and that you've acquired a taste for all things British. My mother is marrying a Brit in 3 weeks. I've always been enamored with the place, and I hope they'll invite me on the honeymoon in London. Sick, right? Also, I'm in a serious self-dejection phase per my writing. I hope it is normal. Congrats on the blog bday!

  4. Look into the University of Southampton. That's where RG is going to go eventually, so you could hang out with Quanta all the time(they're pretty much engaged if you didn't know already).

  5. Way to go on 2 years of internet awesomeocity! Yes, I made up a word as my gift to you!

    'Go everywhere' seems like a vaguely sexual comment to me, but then again, it's late and I'm apparently in an odd mood tonight.

  6. Not practically engaged anymore. Actually, officially engaged. Just so you know.

    Well done, I guess.

    And yeah, that happens a lot to me. I just turn my attention from something I've doing for a while.
    Congrats all the same.

  8. I am a hoarder of British men. Move there. There's no way you could regret it. I was supposed to find myself living there by now, but life got a little complicated.

  9. Go you! Two years! Whoo! Irn Bru is so good; I don't blame you! And shouldn't it be - While I've "Bean" Away?! Huh huh?! x

  10. Sorry to hear about the jerk who almost ran you over. Taking a break when you need it, will help you appreciate your blog/cartoons when you feel like coming back.

    I admire your Brit food hoarding/stash. Quite impressive. If I had the chance, I would love to study there too.

    Congrats on two years! I think I'll celebrate for you with some coffee and chocolate. Cheers!

  11. Oh, me toooooo! (Well, not the brit food hoarding or the almost-dying-from-a-car-accident bits.) But I've been neglecting the blog and working on a novel. Writing can be really humbling, and it's hard to keep self-doubt from creeping in! But we can do it. Right?

  12. Congrats on 2 years!

    On another note, speaking with several other bloggers, it seems like a lot of people have been suffering from writer's block lately (including myself, big time). I think it's a bug that's going around, but I feel like there is nothing left on this planet to write about. So, I'm moving to Mars.

  13. mmmm... who doesn't like friends who send you British candy :) Do they send British eye candy too? I'd order some of those :)

  14. OOoooh, university in London sounds so fun.

    We have missed you for sure, but life happens. :)

  15. Good to have you back, sorry you've been feeling a little flat... i get that... I have to have like 4 creative projects happening at the same time to keep me from flaking into a black hole. But then this means I never get anything finished... hmm... sorry you almost died, that is pretty scary... I love that you hoard British food, I am home at the moment, and still trying to be good food-wise and it is killing me, been here almost 2 weeks and not one dairy milk has passed my lips woe :( Love Elle xo

  16. All that british food looks good

  17. Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you're okay - I can't believe the jerk just drove off!! It reminds me of what happened to Stephen King - so, maybe you'll end up a gazillionaire?? Happy Two Years!

  18. I'd recommend both the University of Chester and Queen's university in Belfast. They're both really nice unis with lots of lovely people :D

  19. I really found that your creativity kinda takes a hit when you are forcing yourself to be creative. Like..whenever I get it in my head that I am going to start posting in my blog every single day. I get burnt out pretty fast because it is just not fun anymore. Can a person be creative every single day? Is such a thing even possible?? Yes it is. But I believe after awhile you will no longer be producing your best material. It's how the creative process works. But at the same time, you don't want to start getting lazy and not producing at all. It is kind of a gentle balance that only the earth's most equisite geniuses have mastered. I guess. I'm not really sure.

  20. Happy Two! Or Not. Too. Happy. (Hang in there.)

    Aberdeen? Aauughh. Application deadline is TODAY?

  21. IRB BRU. Oh my god that takes me back, best hangover cure ever. I did my Masters at Glasgow uni (Economics though, not literature)and totally recommend the city and uni.
    Edinburgh is equally lovely -but a bit more..err..hipsterish- and the uni is brilliant as well.

    Having said all that, there's like London living. So definitely spend a summer there. The LSE (London School of Economics) also has a very good twinning program in Media and Communications- spend a year there, and a second year in Los Angeles, I think.

    Lots of options, all the best!

  22. So glad the moron had bad aim and I hope he gets four flat tires once a week for a year. Karma has her sights set on the idiot.
    The uni recommendations sound fab, Need a roommate?

  23. I'd like to hear more about this novel. What are the details? Or can we not be told yet?

    Also, last time I was almost run over, I lashed out with my foot and kicked a 3 inch dent into the side of the offending car. Apparently I get Hulk strength when I'm angry. The kid came back to try to pick a fight with me like a tough guy. Well, turned out it was his father's car, so he got into huge trouble, and even better, it also turned out that he worked at the place he almost ran me over at, because when his boss came out and asked what he was yelling about, I explained it to him and the kid was fired on the spot.


  24. I'm glad you're okay after the car accident!! Yikes! Love your blog photos - I didn't know it was possible to be a hoarder of British food. It seems like you're mostly a hoarder of British treats. ;)

  25. Mmm Cadbury makes a drinking chocolate???

  26. Congratulations on two years. I forgot about my last blog birthday so you are not alone.

    You are not alone in your creative struggles either. I suffer from writers block a lot and spend a lot of time wondering if what I have written is good enough or total crap. I think it's normal to start feeling like that every now and then, to get intimidated by your own work.

    But don't worry. Most my experiences has taught me that how I feel about something is not as bad as other people feel about it.

  27. Oh no! You've entered the "terrible twos"! Second blogging anniversary... yeah, that sounds like about the right time to have creative slump. :s
    Just pop in from time to time to remind us that you're alive, and eventually it will all come back!

    No need to get almost run-over by a jerk to catch our interest though! There is such as thing as overdoing it to attract an audience! ;o)

    Do your Master's in SPAIN!!! :P

    Nah, the UK should be fine... if you don't mind the weather! ;o)

  28. Even though Im only eleve, I have over a thousand unfinished manuscripts that I hope to make into books and also have a cartooning blog:
    I just found your blog and I love it!


Apparently, leaving comments on this blog is a hit-or-miss game of Russian roulette: you are either lucky and can comment away, or you are required to log in when the settings are CLEARLY set to allow trouble-free commenting (sorry 'bout that, folks). If anything, the Facebook page is always a viable option. :) -Barb