Sunday, June 2, 2013

The Little Mothereffin' Things that Get to Me

The title should be self-explanatory. If not, then I'll present you with a list of various annoyances that bring a frown to my face.

1) The fact that there is a trio of flies that are currently buzzing around my room. I have since opened the window to allow them with a means of escaping. Instead, those sand grain-brained bastards are too stupid to recognize when a window is WIDE OPEN and opt to hover or cling to the window's frame, not actually going back outside. They are just close enough to freedom without feeling the need to liberate themselves into the world, and it's enough to irk me with their incompetent fly ways.

2) The fact that I would like to cook some proper food this weekend, but the security code to enter the front door in the building where the kitchen is located has changed...and no one has bothered to inform me what that new code is. Hoorah.

3) The fact that weekends go by in the blink of an eye, and that the amount of work I have to do simply is does not balance out with my so-called "free time."

4) The fact that I purchased on Saturday a reduced-price bookcase/booze cabinet from the local LeClerc supermarket for 50 euros, which is right across the street from where I live. The only hitch is that I have absolutely no means of transporting it on my own and was thus left with no choice but to pay for it to be delivered.

On Wednesday afternoon, a.k.a., my free afternoon, between the vague hours of 2 p.m. to 6 p.m.

And the price to have it delivered across the street? 40 euros. That's 90 euros total for my bookcase/booze cabinet.

5) Plus, the man who handled the bookcase/booze cabinet's transaction needed a lesson or two on friendly customer service. He probably thought that it would have killed him to smile.

6) I remind you: I literally live across the street from this LeClerc. Considering that I nearly paid double what the bookcase/booze cabinet was priced, they could have at least delivered the damn thing that same Saturday. Ugh.

7) Now one fly from the trio is attempting to become my friend by landing itself closer to my person, either next to me on the bed or right on my laptop's screen. I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND, FLY.

8) No, don't come next to me. GO AWAY, FLY. You hear me????!!!! GO. AWAY.

9) In fact, the window is still wide open. Why don't you tell your fly buddies to just leave?

10) No. Instead, you opted to call over your other pals and have them hang out next to me. I recently showered and washed my hair, so I don't understand what the appeal about me is since I don't smell of poop.

11) At least, I don't think that I smell of poop. Perhaps these flies are trying to tell me something that I don't know...

12) The fact that this blog post is about me griping about flies and expensive delivery fees and how I can't even be bothered to provide an illustration with it.

I shall remedy that.

Here is a totally 100% accurate illustration about my delivery woes.

13) The fact that my cartoon was so utterly unimaginative and repetitive that it makes me want to draw something even more eccentric. Fat chance that will happen because I have to keep working.

14) The fact that I have remorse over having wasted time painting a wooden tissue box.

I don't even use tissues.

Barb the French Bean


  1. Well now you have the perfect reason to begin using tissues. At where I work local delivery is free and actually two times now I've had to carry things across town myself personally because the person only lives a few streets away. One time it was a chair and the other time it was a mirror. So I'm with you on finding 40 euros for delivery across the road pretty bad.

    1. That's true about having a perfect reason, the other being that, as an adult, it is only natural to have uselessly useful items as a wooden tissue box at one's reach.

      Your job has an awesome policy about deliveries; LeClerc could certainly take a leaf or two out of their book!

  2. Maybe the flies wanted to comfort you for the annoying book case delivery stuff.

  3. This post made me laugh. I'm sorry to be laughing at your expense (literally?), but thanks for it anyway. :)

  4. haha lovely tissue box! I like painting something wooden too


Apparently, leaving comments on this blog is a hit-or-miss game of Russian roulette: you are either lucky and can comment away, or you are required to log in when the settings are CLEARLY set to allow trouble-free commenting (sorry 'bout that, folks). If anything, the Facebook page is always a viable option. :) -Barb