Dear Universe: You Have GOT to be Shitting Me...

Dear Universe:

As you may very well know, I am currently stuck in the four walls of my Miami bedroom.

While I am ecstatic to be surrounded by my loved ones again (and not be paying a cent for rent), I am sorely beginning to miss the independence and access to mobility that I once had merely two weeks ago in Europe. This change from being a carefree and daring young woman to now wondering what the hell will become of my life has been a drastic one.

Universe, I only wish to be able to at least move around without having to rely on my car. Is that really so much to ask for?

I already know the answer to my question: in Miami, yes, it is.

Do you know what it is like for me to have spent living nearly two years in Dijon, a city in which I had access to lush parks, a fresh market, art and archaeological museums and a train station, all no more than a 25 to 45-minute walk from my house?

Universe, what is it that you have provided for me in my native Miami? Do you know that the closest attraction to me is...a McDonald's? Seriously? With these conditions, the highlight of my life is to wait until Wednesday and Sunday to walk 15 minutes to Mickey-D's to take advantage of their 39 cent hamburgers and 49 cent cheeseburger specials. Nope. I don't see anything messed up with this. At all.

Oh, and to make matters irk me a bit more: my laptop doesn't want to cooperate and detect the ethernet cable. This means that I must resort to using my Grandpa Computer which is incapable of letting me load photographs from my various trips around France and Spain.

Now, I should probably stop bitching and take advantage of the fact that I live in humidity-and-mosquito ridden Miami. I obviously can't rely on this city to fulfill my cultural and artistic needs. My options are limited to shopping in the malls (for which I would need a car) and swimming in the beach (which also requires me to drive to). I guess that I might as well stay home and watch the local basketball team win a championsh--

Oh, what's that? The Heat lost?

Meh. I never watched them play a match anyway...

Universe, I guess what I am trying to say is...if I have to remain in this town for a very, very long time, I might just be driven to the point of blasting my brains out. My life is not meant to be here, and you know that.

Barb the French Bean