Since I Lost My Sense of Humor...

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life and may I just add that life is indeed too short. As the years pass, the older I am getting; the older I am getting, the less I want to be in school.


I never thought of the importance of school, never really cared much for it. Sure in high school, I was an honor roll student with honor classes, college courses, and a yearbook editor. I had so much promise for my future, but once I got into college, I didn't know where I was headed. It was always clear to me that I wanted to major in Psychology. I dreamt with the idea of helping others with their problems; I wasn't doing it for the money, but for love of people.


This ardure to help others was what kept me motivated to reach my goals, which at the time was to become a psychologist. I did, however, have other passions in life, but one of them stood out the most. The very thing I wanted to do since the age of 10 and that was to be in broadway. As a child I would spend my time making up songs and putting acts in front of the adults and this passion of mine stayed with me until the beginning of college.


I had taken acting classes, singing classes, guitar classes and dance classes, I was for sure in love with the idea of being in broadway. Then when I started my first year in college, that dream fell apart. I had taken acting classes in college, only to get critized about my weak performance...when all this time I thought I was good at what I did.


From then on I concentrated on my general studies, but I would also take other courses that had nothing to do with my major. Well fast forward to three years later and I finally finished what should have been my two year degree. Of course in my mind that didn't matter much, as long as I was moving away and was going to finally finish my other two years....So I thought.


I haven't finished yet, which has made me feel old in all possible ways. Yes, there are others who have not finished like me, but I've always been so determined with life. I always had an idea that by age 24, I would have my masters and yet that will not be happening. Everything I had ever planned for me changed and to make things worse, I want to be a magazine editor.


How on earth can I, if my commas and semicolons are in all the wrong places.... How can I, if my sentences are all jumbled up and my sense of humor and creativity have left me? I see everyone around me accomplishing things that I have so wanted in my life and yet here I am writing in a blog that most don't even read anyways.


Though, I try to keep positive about my success, it makes me wonder how others have reached that success.


So my fellow readers, how on earth did you get to the place you are in now? how did you reach your goals? What challenges did you have to face to get to the place you are in now?


Sorry for the lack of pictures and humor, I promise I'll have something better up....eventually.


Hanny the coffee bean