Thursday, January 19, 2012

Airplane Bathrooms Vs. Coffee Bean

I'm not great at story telling. To me going into too much detail gets a bit tedious for me. So instead I will tell you what my thoughts were while I was waiting to use the airplane bathroom.

If you have ever gone into an airplane bathroom then you know how small it is. If you have never been in an airplane bathroom then let me demonstrate.

That is an airplane bathroom. Small as hell...

Anyways, so on my way to England, I had to be on a plane for about 8 hours and being human and all, I had to use the bathroom.

So as I make it to the bathroom, I look at the little sign that says occupied. I go towards the next bathroom and that pesky little occupied sign was on.

As I waited outside the bathroom door, my mind could not shut up.

I really need to go...damn it how long is this person going to take...

*5 seconds later*

My bladder is going to explode! get out of the bathroom!!!

*stares down occupied signal*

*about 10 minutes...*

WTF?! are you shitting in there?? did you die?! OMG my bladder is going to burst!!!

It's probably an elder...I hope its not that 700 lb guy who kept staring down my food, he was scary..

*a few more minutes*

*Young girl comes out of the bathroom*

WTF?! was she playing with barbies in there?!

*Rushes into bathroom and handles some business*

I hope barbies aren't going to attack me in here...what if the lights turn off and I get bitten by something. Or maybe the airplane falls and all they find is a girl on the toilet...that girl is me...

I don't want to be remembered as the girl on the toilet!! or maybe before the plane falls my knight in shining armor will rescue me from the bathroom, but wait! I don't want him to see me trying to take a shit on the toilet...I rather die as the girl on the toilet. Maybe the hidden rabid barbies will eat me alive before they find a girl on the toilet.

*Gets off toilet and proceeds to pull up pants*

*Some turbulence occurs and something falls down*

Ack! The barbies are attacking me!

*waves arms around in the air frantically*

omg what if it was a roach? maybe they are in cahoots. I knew I hated those damn plastic things, they are secretly working with the roaches to take over the world!

*Stares at a tissue paper that had "attacked"/fallen to the ground*

No one must know how paranoid I am at the moment. Anyone would think I was bonkers...Can you imagine "Hi my name is Hanny, I'm a psychology major who thinks barbies and roaches are in cahoots to take over the world."

*Looks around and flushes toilet*

I wonder what would happen if a snake randomly appeared out of the toilet. Where would it come from? It would be impossible or would it...

*Washes hands*

I wonder how people even dare join the mile high club, especially in this tiny place. I mean leprechauns can do it, but people? really? what if both of them were like 6 feet tall? I can hardly breath in here...

*Gets out of the bathroom to see a line of people*

Was I in there that long?!

Sometimes...I wonder about myself...

Hanny the coffee bean


  1. LOL airplane bathrooms have got to be one of the scariest experiences anyone can go through...the roar of that flush *shudders*

  2. Rabid Barbies on a Plane. Now there is a movie I want to see. Would have been so much better then Snakes on a Plane.

  3. This made me giggle, but especially the part about the snake because being from FL, I always fear that one day there will be an alligator in my toilet. SO SCARY.


  4. To those seeking to be initiated in the so-called "mile-high" club, these miniscule bathrooms certainly give a new meaning to being a small, tight spaces. :P

  5. tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks! :D

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  7. tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks! :D Well said, same feelings.


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