Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Story of a Striped Skirt

Once upon a time, based on a true story and as adapted from real life, a woman in her early twenties spotted a multi-colored striped skirt in her favorite store.

From the moment she laid eyes on it, she was immediately enraptured by its bold and stark design.

It was a true coup de coeur, this striped skirt, the kind that rendered the young woman into a state of hypnotized euphoria. Combined with its fairly reasonable price and the fact that it was only one left of its kind, the striped skirt was bought in a heartbeat.

However, things were not 100% pleasant between the two. There were a couple of hitches with this potentially budding relationship, specifically the young woman's lower paunch and jumbo thighs. Truth be told, the skirt looked rather unflattering as its intended function. It fit far too tightly around the young woman's mid-section and gave the impression that she was a tightly-strung ham trying far too hard to look hot.

The young woman was crafty enough to sport the garment as a top.

Yet she was not ready to give up on the skirt. In order to make the relationship work, drastic changes had to be made.

One month later, the young woman left for France. In this country, her daily habits dramatically changed by incorporating more exercise and consuming less and healthier food. Though it was not evident to her on a daily basis, her body was certainly making a turn for the better...even if the number on the scale stalled for nearly 3 months.

Several months later, on a warm and sunny spring day, the young woman searched around her closet for something to wear.

All of a sudden, for some inexplicable reason, the skirt called out to her.

So they had. So they had indeed.

Exuberant with the discovery, the young woman ventured out into the French city with her trademark cherry red lipstick and black heels.

At the bus stop, a gallant young man drove up next to her and shouted a cheerful "bonjour!"

"This is new," thought the young woman. "I normally don't draw any attention like this." With slight apprehension, the young woman granted the young man a bonjour and hoped that he would leave her be.

"How are you doing?" he asked, flashing a hungry smile. The young woman suddenly had the impression that the gallant man wasn't really so gallant after all. There was an unbecoming gleam in his eyes and he looked like he would start salivating in a few seconds. Perhaps she had been fooled and the skirt still made her look like a ham after all...

"I'm fine. Au revoir."

"Rôôôô, allez, come on and talk to me. You are a really pretty woman!"

The young woman stared in silence. He probably thinks that I'm a prostitute. I hardly can blame him.

"Au revoir," she repeated with command.

"Are you French?"


"Oh, all right. I promise I'll leave you soon. What are your origins?"

"I am American."

"Oh, yeaaaaaaah," shouted the impressed young man with a mock American pronunciation.

"And now you will leave. Au revoir."

Barb the French Bean


  1. XD

    That is why I either avoid short skirts or wear leggings under them. (Though wearing more girly, chaste skirts gets guys to act a little more gallant, like holding doors.)

    Anyway, love the story. <3 Did you put photos on facebook?

  2. Oh my gosh I love this story. Love this blog. Definitely a follower now!

  3. There are a couple of photos of me on Facebook in which I sport said skirt as a top (that was back in October). I normally avoid skirts because of the massive jumbo-thighs which are thankfully not-as-massive now. :-)

    Still, I can't bring myself to wear shorts in public. No way, no how.


  4. lol .. iv missed catching these posts :-) love it
    thanks fer the smiles

  5. Eff him, I'm sure you looked lovely!!

  6. Love it! Great story. Also! You asked if I'd be in France while I'm in Europe the next couple of weeks. I will not be, BUT! I think my family is planning a trip to Paris in August! It'll be my first trip to France EVER and I'm so excited! Just thought I'd share the fabulous news!

  7. Hahaha. Yeah that will work because, you know, the way to any woman's hart is to mock her accent. Great story.

  8. Behold, the power of the striped skirt.

    Make sure to use your power for good, and not for evil...

    And it amuses me that most 'American Accents' make us sound either like cowboys or surfers...


  9. so funny comedy I really enjoy it so much and of course this article is so great !


Apparently, leaving comments on this blog is a hit-or-miss game of Russian roulette: you are either lucky and can comment away, or you are required to log in when the settings are CLEARLY set to allow trouble-free commenting (sorry 'bout that, folks). If anything, the Facebook page is always a viable option. :) -Barb