Once upon a time, based on a true story and as adapted from real life, a woman in her early twenties spotted a multi-colored striped skirt in her favorite store.
From the moment she laid eyes on it, she was immediately enraptured by its bold and stark design.
It was a true coup de coeur, this striped skirt, the kind that rendered the young woman into a state of hypnotized euphoria. Combined with its fairly reasonable price and the fact that it was only one left of its kind, the striped skirt was bought in a heartbeat.
However, things were not 100% pleasant between the two. There were a couple of hitches with this potentially budding relationship, specifically the young woman's lower paunch and jumbo thighs. Truth be told, the skirt looked rather unflattering as its intended function. It fit far too tightly around the young woman's mid-section and gave the impression that she was a tightly-strung ham trying far too hard to look hot.
The young woman was crafty enough to sport the garment as a top.
Yet she was not ready to give up on the skirt. In order to make the relationship work, drastic changes had to be made.
Several months later, on a warm and sunny spring day, the young woman searched around her closet for something to wear.
All of a sudden, for some inexplicable reason, the skirt called out to her.
So they had. So they had indeed.
Exuberant with the discovery, the young woman ventured out into the French city with her trademark cherry red lipstick and black heels.
At the bus stop, a gallant young man drove up next to her and shouted a cheerful "bonjour!"
"How are you doing?" he asked, flashing a hungry smile. The young woman suddenly had the impression that the gallant man wasn't really so gallant after all. There was an unbecoming gleam in his eyes and he looked like he would start salivating in a few seconds. Perhaps she had been fooled and the skirt still made her look like a ham after all...
"I'm fine. Au revoir."
"Rôôôô, allez, come on and talk to me. You are a really pretty woman!"
"Au revoir," she repeated with command.
"Are you French?"
"Oh, all right. I promise I'll leave you soon. What are your origins?"
"I am American."
"Oh, yeaaaaaaah," shouted the impressed young man with a mock American pronunciation.
"And now you will leave. Au revoir."
Barb the French Bean