Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Let's Get Physical...

Forever in my dutiful quest to finally obtain Shakira-hotness shed those pesky and stagnant 30-something pounds off my frame, I decided to engage in something that I have despised since I was an obese 8 year-old in P.E. class: running.

I can't express how much I hate running. I loathe it. I abhor it. Running brings back not-so-fond memories of how I was always mocked for being the last one finishing a lap, huffing and puffing in a pathetic fashion. If running were a person, I would rejoice when it kicked the bucket and I would immediately rush over to the cemetery to dance on its grave.

If I were given the choice to walk for 4 hours or just run continuously for 30 minutes straight, I would choose the walking in a heartbeat. Not only would I burn off more calories, I would be neither out of breath nor as exhausted at the end.

And yet running for 30 minutes straight is exactly what I am striving to achieve.

I recently came across something called the "Couch to 5K" program and decided that a lazy bum such as myself should give it a shot. However, before I immersed myself with progressively getting in touch with my inner Usain Bolt, I deemed it absolutely crucial to purchase a pair of exercise earbuds and download a few Glee song re-makes into my MP3.

(Yes. Thanks to France's W9 channel, I have finally caved in and become a bonafide Gleek and in French, no less. Am I the only one with a crush on Artie?)

So, I dug out some exercise clothes. With my navy blue jacket and exercise pants, I looked as if I were sporting a cheap version of the Marseillais-style of Adidas track suits and Nike running shoes. All I needed was some obscure American baseball team cap and an Olympique Marseille scarf to complete the look.

Week One of the program is the starter phase in which for the first 3 days, I would alternate between running for 60 seconds and then walking briskly for 90 seconds. I naively thought that it would be a piece of cake. Not a literal piece because, obviously, that would be counterproductive to my goals.

In this first week, I've already encountered uncooperative technology...

...extraneous noises...

...and, naturally, the actual arduous task of training my woefully unfit body.

To think that was only the first week. Here's hoping that week 2 will be better for me!

Barb the French Bean


  1. you can do it! the key is to run somewhere pretty (along the coast in CA springs to mind, can you buy some airline tix?) and then NOT THINK ABOUT RUNNING. Just let your mind wander and start thinking about all the errands you have to do or laundry. See? So much better. Don't thank me, I'm here to help.

  2. Idaho: I never do, but thanks for the reminder! :-D

    MOV: I have to try that strategy, about not thinking about the running. It's just so much easier to do that when I walk...


  3. I will send you a gift card for a mani or pedi when you do it! :)

    Anyone who can commit to doing something they hate this much deserves bribery and rewards.

    They always say that to get in shape you must find the activity that you love, so it doesn't feel like 'working out'. Well, I LOVE sleeping, and so far, it's not helping with my own Shakira-ish-ness. :(

  4. Good luck. And make sure you have proper running shoes.

  5. Old soccer conditioning technique: run in time with the beat of your music. Doesn't matter if it's a fast song or slow one, you have to match it and you can't skip tracks. If you're focusing on that, the pain becomes much less noticeable.

    Also, give yourself goal markers every little distance. "Okay, just to the corner..." and when you get there, "I can totally make it to the light post that's just over there."

    I don't exercise nearly as much as I should lately, but these tricks have always helped me a lot. :)

  6. hehe ... go for it.
    I hate jogging. Everything in front of me shakes big time.

  7. First of all, let me say that I adoreee your animations. Such a creative idea and hilarious!

    Okay so now to what I really want to say. I completely understand your lifelong battle with running. The first time I ever tried running, I ended up face down on the lacrosse field. Needless to say, I didn't make the team. But I have to say, I learned sooo much from running. I kept trying and honestly, even though I don't run everyday and I'd still much rather stay on my couch, I am so glad that I kept at it. It's hard, really really hard. But it gets easier, and you see something in yourself you never thought you had.

    So good luck with your journey and getting rid of the pesky pounds. (I'm on a similar journey myself) Just keep at it!

    Check out my blog:

  8. Love the drawings. Running does suck, but it also does get better if you keep at it. I prefer an actual activity to boring running. Put me on a soccer field or in a reaquetball court and I'm happy exercising. Good luck

  9. I am in the same boat as you when it comes to the emotions about running, although you jumped ship when you decided to give it a try. I don't even think running is good for you. All that havoc on your knees, and then those people that lose the weight via running say they can never stop otherwise they pick it up.

    Good luck to you on this crazy endeavour, but I'm still not planning to go running.

  10. haha you have a good sense of humor, I love those funny computer drawings about exercise, I do work out, I bought a 4rx exercise bike and I am working out everyday

  11. I love Artie, but he's really second in my heart after Puck. I did the C25k program a few times. I'd finish, and then realize that I still hate running, so I'd quit again. Ha!


Apparently, leaving comments on this blog is a hit-or-miss game of Russian roulette: you are either lucky and can comment away, or you are required to log in when the settings are CLEARLY set to allow trouble-free commenting (sorry 'bout that, folks). If anything, the Facebook page is always a viable option. :) -Barb