Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Things I've Learned While Surviving Unemployment

-The total number of hours I've spent walking in Miami probably equate to what I habitually accomplished during one week in Dijon.

-No other country makes burgers and milkshakes like we do.

- The former and latter factors of my new sedentary way of life are demonstrated quite visibly on my body (yeesh).

-Butters is decidedly my favorite of the South Park characters.

-The boredom that comes from being unemployed sucks.

-Seriously. It really, really sucks.

-I know I have a green thumb; it was just thwarted by the rain and scorching sun.

-So were my plants.

-I make awesome stuffed bell peppers and chocolate chip banana pancakes.

-Summer lasts far too long in South Florida.

-Miami happens to be a very dull city if all you can do for entertainment is eat at restaurants, shop at the mall and go out to nightclubs.

-This dullness is painfully obvious if your boyfriend* lives 5-hours away.

-All my creative energy has been zapped.

-Hula dancing is wicked fun. Plus, it's a good way to work out the abs.

Barb the French Bean

*Yes, I have a boyfriend now, and he's a really cool guy. Like, a really, really Cool Guy. The kind of really, really Cool Guy who opens doors for me, offers me a bouquet of flowers, talks to me one the phone for hours and makes me feel comfortable enough to bring out the now-dormant high school geek that I smothered under a layer of thick make-up once I started college. He shall be referred to as "Cool Guy" on this blog. Capisce?

Update: Since I am still bored, my creativity arose from the dead and decided to manifest itself into a cartoon.

Ladies and Gents, I present to you...The Boredom Monster!!!

This creature rises from the depths of fun and frivolity and feeds off whatever form of entertainment it can find. It sucks amusing jokes, walks in the park and cruising with friends right through its Q*bertlike snout.

Come to think of it, the Boredom Monster may also be a second cousin of the Purple People Eater. But twice-removed. The Purple People Eater was cool enough to have a catchy song written about him; the Boredom Monster would probably object to any fun songs and would just vacuum them right up the snout.

Okay, that is all.


  1. Hi Barb! If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been unemployed? I, too, am in between jobs. The first month was heaven... but I'm almost at the end of my 2nd month and I totally understand what you're talkin' about :|

  2. Well, I'm at the end of what is my third month of unemployment and if I don't find a job soon, it will officially be four months of enduring all of this imposed free-time. :-P

  3. Think 3-4 months of unemployment is bad with boredom? Try almost 10 months. =_=

  4. I'm unemployed too. Now I've got free time to mope haha

  5. I think I'm going to have nightmares about the boredom monster now.

    (Butters rocks)

  6. Aww cheer up, you will find something soon and btw it's only 4 hours (well depends on how slow you drive and if you take tolls or not :p ).

    - Hanny

  7. Random Rambler: Now that IS tough. The longest I've spent being unemployed in the past was six months, and that was just absolutely dreadful. (But at least I had university coursework to keep me occupied!):P

    Justina: No, don't mope! The Boredom Monster will only enjoy that.

    Stu: Yes, be afraid. Be very, VERY afraid, because the Boredom Monster will only steal your good dreams and leave you with nightmares!

    Hanny: Speaking of which, we need to plan our next adventures in Orlando for October! :D

  8. Barb, you might look back at this time in your life years from now and fondly think of it as the burger and milkshake phase! You may even want it back some day! Until then, I hope you find a job asap. :)

  9. very good and useful tips on how to survive while unemployment, thanks for sharing them, I got a feeling that I will be unemployed soon, so I seriously have to consider your tips


Apparently, leaving comments on this blog is a hit-or-miss game of Russian roulette: you are either lucky and can comment away, or you are required to log in when the settings are CLEARLY set to allow trouble-free commenting (sorry 'bout that, folks). If anything, the Facebook page is always a viable option. :) -Barb