Monday, September 26, 2011

How To Make Money...or Not

I have come to the point in my life, where all my bills are attacking me. They have finally come at me like a stampede of animals trying to break through some barriers.

As stated in past posts, I am only just a student getting by with what I get paid. This is used in paying credit cards, rent, phone bill, groceries, and *cough*Netflix*cough*. I know it doesn't seem like a lot to pay, but then there is the usual car troubles or the usual trips to Miami to visit the family.

So in an attempt to make more money I came up with solutions that does not involve me getting a second job.



1. Sell "Donate" my brain to science



Just like some people sell "donate" their plasma for money, I should sell "donate" my brain to science. I would make millions off my brain! I mean who wouldn't want the brain of a left handed leap year born Latina short girl?! Of course the only down fall with this is that by the time I would give my brain to science, I wouldn't be alive to enjoy the money.



2. Stand on the corner



No, no, no...not selling my body, but rather just stand on the corner with a flashing neon sign saying "Throw money at me" and see if people will just throw money at me. The problem with this is that the prostitutes who own any of the corners of my choice might kill me.



3. Exterminate BIG RATS



By big rats...I don't mean literally a rat, if you get my drift. It would be perfect, I'll pretend to be exterminating pests, but the only pests to exterminate will be the ones with a bounty on their heads. Like that one movie called EXterminators.



4. Sell other people stuff on Ebay

I am not talking about dressing up as santa claus, breaking into houses and taking valuables to sell. I am talking about selling items that once belonged to cheating significant others. Have a cheating significant other? Have evidence? Then let me sell it! What better way to get money than to sell it online and the people who do allow me access to these items will get the satisfaction of revenge. (Just like the woman a few years ago...This is what happens to cheaters and mistresses)




5. Anyone want a guy?


That's right. I have a good amount of guy friends, all very handsome and cheap too. I'll start at 50 dollars. Of course, selling them will leave me kind of lonely and eventually it will start something...



6. Sell squirrels to the black market

Why not?

Eh. maybe I'll look for other ways to make money, where I won't get shot.


Hanny the coffee bean


3 comments:

  1. I think that Ninja Squirrel would object to being sold on the black market!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are so clever :-) Number 5 sounds like fun. Number 4 is good too. But I might just stick to Number 1.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've tried to sell my bf's sperm to his rich, exgf who still wants his sperm and a baby.

    ... He still says no. I think he's stupid.

    ReplyDelete

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