Sunday, April 1, 2012

Playing Fishy on Poisson d'Avril

April Fool's in France is known as Poisson d'avril, April fish. The typical gag is to tape a paper fish unto someone's unsuspecting back. In the two years that I spent living in France, I had been fortunate enough to have been spared from that prank. In fact, I expected my April 1st this year to be relatively dull and ordinary. So dull that all I was planning to have for excitement was a trip to Costco on a Sunday.

This is worth repeating: a trip to COSTCO on a SUNDAY.

For those who are not in the know, Costco demonstrates the beauty of America: a penchant for loving all things big and bargain-priced. This wholesaler, with its over-sized shopping carts and free food samples, gives you a sense of exclusivity because you have to pay a yearly membership to be able to shop there.

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't love Costco. Where else am I going to get a decent goat cheese and satisfy my Stacy's "Simply Naked" Pita chips fix in bulk?

However, a Costco crammed with hundreds of shoppers vying for deals and stuffing their gargantuan shopping carts with a year's supply of toilet paper? On a Sunday afternoon? I call that "Hell."

It also doesn't help that said Hell is located at least 25 minutes away from my house.


I should mention that should I decide to play some background music, 99% of the tunes heard on the radio in Miami are polarized by Pitbull's voice.



If music doesn't work, then surely the gorgeous Miami scenery will be a sight for sore eyes.


Erm...maybe this looks better.


At least you get palm trees. 




That is, we would have gone in there had I not asked Mom, rather nonchalantly:





My mother has a very peculiar expression in Spanish: "jugar pescadito." Literally translated, it means "to play fishy." She states this phrase whenever something or someone pulled the wool over her eyes or evaded her, much like a fish would to someone who tries to lure it unsuccessfully with a fishing pole.

When she mentioned that, I couldn't help but feel that the card had taped a metaphorical paper fish on our backs that served as our Poisson d'avril, only I didn't quite appreciate this joke.

Our trip to Hell was postponed for a trip back to the house, one accompanied by yet more of Miami's exciting scenery and Pitbull's pop/rap music.




(This may or may not exactly be near Hell...)



Once Mom got her card, we spent yet another 25 minutes being serenaded by Mr. Three-Oh-Five en route to Hell...



(For those of you curious enough to make your ears bleed, here ya go.)



...where we navigated our cumbersome cart around endless columns of cardboard boxes and stacks of food for close to an hour. By the time I reached the exit, I was at my wit's end.



Yep. 'Merica at her finest.

Things got better once we went home (albeit listening to more of Mr. Worldwide on the airwaves).






Oh, and for those who read this on my Twitter today:



It should go without saying that I have recanted that. Happy Poisson d'avril!

Barb the French Bean

22 comments:

  1. Ha! That doesn't sound like fun at all. I hate shopping around other people. I'd never go on Sundays, but there's a food store near me that's always empty. LOVE it.

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    1. You are SO lucky. Oof. I love it when stores are practically empty.

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  2. Yuck. That sucks. I hope that you at least got some good samples. I love the samples at Costco...when we didn't live in the middle of nowhere, we'd go there for lunch sometimes.

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    1. Their samples are indeed quite awesome, but the downside is that I get tempted to purchase a box containing 7,000 frozen quiches.

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  3. In the frozen lands far to the north -- the place called Georgia -- we have Sam's Club. I've never seen a Costco before, though the one in Idiocracy was pretty amazing.

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    1. I've heard of this Sam's Club, as well as BJ's.

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  4. Bahaha! The French are real crazy with their awesome fun April Fools... *this was sarcastic* I was around English people all day and never got to see these festivities in full swing... woe...
    Oh and take me back to America if only for Costco Banana Nut Muffins!!

    Love Elle xo

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    1. If I could send you virtual Costco Muffins, I would!

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  5. There is actually a store where you have to have a card to shop there? O_o Well I suppose if it's cheap. That is both the shopping and the membership. It's not like they make you pay a lot to shop there and then make the food cheap to trick you. Wellz at least you got the shopping done in the end, and that does seem to be some nice scenery :)

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    1. Yep. If you consider $50 a year cheap, then, yes. It's worth it.

      As for the nicer scenery, I had to dig out some of my older Miami Beach photos. :P

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  6. I hate going to Costco on Sundays. I've never been in any other place where I can simultaneously be in 30 peoples' ways all at once.

    Also, thanks for sharing that awful Pitbull song. I'm not sure which I hate more, his music, or him selling out to any drink that'll pay him.

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    1. Either way, the guy sure knows how to market himself (a fact often parodied by the Youtube Channel Barely Political)!

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  7. I sense your nostalgia when you mom made you think of the Poisson d'Avril. Sounds like it was a very fishy day indeed. I let the day slip by without pinning a fish on anyone's back...dommage. Thanks for the entertainment!

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    1. Yeah. I'm bad France-talgia mode these days. It gets worse with every single.

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  8. Great post. Love the French fishy thing & your mom's fish saying. :D

    I'm an artist & writer who works from home, basically at the computer all day, every day. I have no contact with real, flesh & blood people until my husband gets home from work--so it can get lonely sometimes. When I'm in need of a people fix, I head to Costco! :D Even if I don't plan to buy anything, I just like to go and get in the midst of all those people and get elbowed around for a while. LOL

    Yes, I know it's a little crazy. :)

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    1. Actually, it makes sense. Once you start to think "hm, I need to interact with people more," you go to Costco to remind yourself of why this is such a bad idea, lol.

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  9. I actually love Pitbull - but that song on repeat would NOT be driving music.

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    1. I only hope that Miami radio stations take your advice!

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  10. LOL!!! omg I almost fell to the floor from laughing so much! I actually like the beat to the new pitbull song :p then again I don't hear pitbull all that often.

    -Hanny

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    1. I'm glad to hear it, my friend! :D

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  11. Oh noes! Just for future reference, as long as you have a photo ID with you, they can look up your account and give you a temporary card good for that day. That will save you two trips with Pitbull.

    Maybe you didn't want to know that, but if it happens again, save on the gas and the eardrums and just ask for a temporary card. We've had to do it before because I brought the wrong wallet.

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    1. I did not know that. o_O

      Wow! Thanks for the advice!

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Apparently, leaving comments on this blog is a hit-or-miss game of Russian roulette: you are either lucky and can comment away, or you are required to log in when the settings are CLEARLY set to allow trouble-free commenting (sorry 'bout that, folks). If anything, the Facebook page is always a viable option. :) -Barb