I have come to the conclusion that there is some sort of disconnection between my mouth and brain. I will not go into details about how the brain works when it comes down to the motor skills of speech, but I will say that this "disconnection" is driving me insane.
I consider myself a thinker, I am always deep in thought about everything that goes on in the world; about everything dealing with life, love, the existence of everything on this planet, etc...
But I have one little problem...
Whenever, I try to have an intellectual conversation with someone (or actually any type of conversation...), it comes out wrong.
Sometimes because of this little issue, I feel like people think differently of me, far from the person I truly am. Sure, I play around and talk about random things like pig feet or complain about someone in my life, but truth be told I would rather have a witty debate any day of the week. Of course, I don't seem to appear like I could have one, thanks to this so called "disconnection."
See my brain starts to think something like "The Hippocampal processing..." and then when it comes time for me to actually say it, I end up with "The Hippo Progress..."
Okay, so that's not a good example, but my point is that almost everything I think about comes out the WRONG way.
It comes to the point where the other person takes it the wrong way as well. It has actually gone as far as getting into some sort of argument because of a certain miscommunication.
You know how people tend to say you should think before you speak? Well I think, but I end up speaking caveman. This also adds to one of the many reasons why I hate talking on the phone and as to why I come off as quiet to some.
I have also been perceived as a bit... air-headed, which of course I took it offensively since I am not one without knowledge and I certainly am not stupid.
The above illustration, demonstrates something that actually happened to me with a friend. You can imagine my surprise when he mentioned the fact that he thought I was air-headed.
I also would like to state that my personality is a bit bubbly and being the dreamer that I am, well you can imagine that the mouth brain disconnection only adds to the "air-headed" perception. I'm really not quite sure as to why it happens, maybe I think too fast or maybe I need to give myself enough time to respond. I have even taken speech classes and aced them all, so what gives?
Am I the only one that suffers from the mouth brain disconnection? I can understand, if someone makes you nervous, but people so rarely make me nervous. I actually want to talk to people, but the disconnection that my mouth and brain go through is enough to have people walking away and that is just sad.
Hopefully, someone comes up with an easy fix to this situation. Maybe then I could actually have an intellectual conversation with someone other than a rock. (Okay, I just exaggerated that last part, but you know what I mean. Do you?)
-Hanny the coffee bean
Fear not, you do not suffer alone. You are in good-ish company. You have described my condition perfectly. There is help, support, and medication...somewhere.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one! hopefully there is medication somewhere for it...
Delete- Hanny
I think far faster than I speak, and I also still think better than I speak. When I just start talking though and forget myself, I can be kind of fun. But I think that isn't an accurate representation of who I am.
ReplyDeleteYes I have the same problem. I think faster than I speak and I very well know that feeling of not accurately representing who you are.
Delete- Hanny
Thank god I'm not the only one who does this
ReplyDeleteHaha no you are not! For a second there I thought I was the only one.
Delete- Hanny
This is why I often prefer email and written correspondence, as my brain to mouth connection is about as solid as jello. At least when I have the time to write it out and evaluate, I don't sound like such a bumbling bimbo. True, I still have no verbal filter and often ramble on--both in person and online--but at least typing forces me to think instead of being put on the spot where I'm likely to blurt out something like, "Okey dokey artichokey!" after giving a detail explanation of something complicated and impressive.
ReplyDeleteI am the same. I prefer emails and such other than talking. Same goes with texting, I prefer to text than to call.
Delete- Hanny
I'm in the same boat as Mark. I try to speak way to fast so the words come out all jumbled. This especially happens when someone catches me off guard. Example:
ReplyDelete-What's up?
-Good, and you?
I do the same...then I just feel slightly embarrassed.
Delete- Hanny
I'm exactly the same! I just can't express myself very well, I'm much better at writing! I'm so glad I'm not the only one! :)
ReplyDeleteSame here! I was starting to think I was defective D:
Delete-Hanny
Not saying that I'm perfect or anything, but still when it came to that...I thought I was the only one who had this problem.
Delete-Hanny
I think we all do this. I know I often think too fast for my own good, and the words come out like some kind of rapid fire burst of glorious retardation.
ReplyDeleteAlso, to go along with Chiz, I love when I say something stupid and automatic like this because I am expecting 'have a good day' and speak way too fast.
Usher at the movie theater: Enjoy your movie!
Me: You too!
LOL! Kind of like when I am shopping and someone says to me: Let me know if I can help you with anything.
Deleteme: You too!
-Hanny
I feel your pain. If I have to type an email (or a blog) it usually comes across as well thought-out, intelligent and witty.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to have a face to face convo with me, or ask me to do improv? Well, it's hit and miss. And usually the 'misses' are more memorable...
Very true for me...I rather write than to just speak all together.
Delete- Hanny
I think we can both agree that I sound far less erudite in real life than I am with written words. As I sit and listen to other people chatting, I usually keep my often one-sided conversations to monosyllabic responses, which leads everyone to believe that I am rather unfriendly. :P
ReplyDeleteI tend to do better with one-on-one scenarios than large crowds.
-Barb
I think it is more shyness than anything, your thoughts still come out when you speak and you aren't stuttering or trying to find the words all the time, like I am :p
Delete-Hanny
It makes me so happy to read this and see everyone's comments. I do the same thing, but I always just figured it was my lack of social skills shining through.
ReplyDeleteJay
Nope you are not the only one! and good thing I'm not the only one ^^
Delete-Hanny
I can relate. I am proof that a high IQ doesn't mean you won't randomly forget the word for "comparison" when trying to form a sentence. I blame years of drinking and drugs, but I think it's just that my brain likes to fart a lot.
ReplyDeleteHa! I always want to blame it on drinking, although the farting brain reasoning is a good one too.
Delete-Hanny
I sort of know how you feel. I mostly do that with guys I like though, ha! I'm usually rather quiet and then when I try to talk to certain people who make me nervous, for some reason or other, I sound nowhere near the way I wanted it to sound in my head. I just have awkward social skills though, lol. I'm better at talking with people I'm comfortable with or know well.
ReplyDelete♥ Principessa Gabriella
Ah, yes. It usually does not happen to me unless I like the person A LOT. Then I can't speak for hours and I am left looking like an idiot... So I do understand what you mean, happens to me all the time, but lately it has been happening with everyone.
Delete-Hanny
I think it's more common than you realize! It's just that none of us can explain what it is, since it all just comes out as gibberish. ;)
ReplyDeleteI think the reason I do not realize it is because the people I tend to talk to do not go through the same problem. At least not in front of me, so I look like a babbling baboon :p
Delete-Hanny
You are not alone! I have the same problem sometimes. I've also always had an issue with people not being able to tell whether I'm being sarcastic or not....partly my fault of course, because I'm a very sarcastic person sometimes...but seriously, think for one second and you should know the difference haha.
ReplyDeleteA great post. I think there's no better feeling than when the writing rushed out of you onto the page.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. Lots of people misinterpret me due to an extreme verbal diarrhea problem. Last week I got described as "the ditsiest person I know". If they could only see what was up in here, man...
ReplyDeleteIm really glad that im not the only one going through this. It's very frustrating and im not sure of what I can do about it. I was reading this article and didnt see anything that I can do to help me. has anyone done anything for this problem?
ReplyDeleteI have felt more and more depressed in recent months because of this very problem. Speaking with important people in situations such as networking or interviews stresses me out. I don't know how to overcome this and it is causing me to lose the desire to even bother communicating with other people. It is very frustrating.
ReplyDeleteI did not know other people have this same issue. I think about things all the time and sometimes I will tell myself not to mention a specific thing to someone in conversion but it comes out anyway. I was told many times that I appear like a deer in headlights. People almost always misunderstand what I say and its very annoying. I even think that I'm slowly losing my memory at times...so if theres a solution let me know
ReplyDeleteAnyone have a solution?
ReplyDeleteMy suspicion is that this disconnect (in those without a pathological condition) is due to the antagonism and interference between the two modes of thinking, subjective and objective (or as the neuroscientists call them, the default mode network DMN and the task positive network TPN). They are responsible for mediating your interaction with reality, but they each fight for control. Unfortunately, since the DMN developed years before the TPN (think "terrible twos" vs the rational 7s), we practice the DMN far longer so it is ingrained as the primary mode. The first is "all about me," drives the internal talk we have, supports our ego, drive our emotions and actions in response to flattery and insult, and the like. The second is mostly "responsive" to the needs of the moment without a "me" component. We shift between one and the other depending on our thinking habits (we do more readily what we do more often), ego maturity, insight, desires and the focus of attention. Talking is a very default mode process and it is likely your thinking is in task positive mode but when talking, your default mode takes over and makes a mess of things, I suspect because you have exercised your fantasy brain (you did say you are a dreamer) at the cost of your organization brain. Meditation is one of the ways to learn to enter the TPN at will (it takes many months) and even longer to stay in it more often than the DMN.
ReplyDeleteMy suspicion is that this disconnect (in those without a pathological condition) is due to the antagonism and interference between the two modes of thinking, subjective and objective (or as the neuroscientists call them, the default mode network DMN and the task positive network TPN). They are responsible for mediating your interaction with reality, but they each fight for control. Unfortunately, since the DMN developed years before the TPN (think "terrible twos" vs the rational 7s), we practice the DMN far longer so it is ingrained as the primary mode. The first is "all about me," drives the internal talk we have, supports our ego, drive our emotions and actions in response to flattery and insult, and the like. The second is mostly "responsive" to the needs of the moment without a "me" component. We shift between one and the other depending on our thinking habits (we do more readily what we do more often), ego maturity, insight, desires and the focus of attention. Talking is a very default mode process and it is likely your thinking is in task positive mode but when talking, your default mode takes over and makes a mess of things, I suspect because you have exercised your fantasy brain (you did say you are a dreamer) at the cost of your organization brain. Meditation is one of the ways to learn to enter the TPN at will (it takes many months) and even longer to stay in it more often than the DMN.
ReplyDeleteMy suspicion is that this disconnect (in those without a pathological condition) is due to the antagonism and interference between the two modes of thinking, subjective and objective (or as the neuroscientists call them, the default mode network DMN and the task positive network TPN). They are responsible for mediating your interaction with reality, but they each fight for control. Unfortunately, since the DMN developed years before the TPN (think "terrible twos" vs the rational 7s), we practice the DMN far longer so it is ingrained as the primary mode. The first is "all about me," drives the internal talk we have, supports our ego, drive our emotions and actions in response to flattery and insult, and the like. The second is mostly "responsive" to the needs of the moment without a "me" component. We shift between one and the other depending on our thinking habits (we do more readily what we do more often), ego maturity, insight, desires and the focus of attention. Talking is a very default mode process and it is likely your thinking is in task positive mode but when talking, your default mode takes over and makes a mess of things, I suspect because you have exercised your fantasy brain (you did say you are a dreamer) at the cost of your organization brain. Meditation is one of the ways to learn to enter the TPN at will (it takes many months) and even longer to stay in it more often than the DMN.
ReplyDelete