The Asshole Phenomenon

The other day, I had posted a rather amusing Facebook status. As my friends commented on my status, one of them mentioned the asshole phenomenon.

The asshole phenomenon is when a guy (or girl) acts like an asshole and attracts women (or men) that believe they can change the so called asshole (well it's usually like that).


I will admit that this phenomenon does work on people and no matter how much I hate assholes, I have fallen prey to the asshole phenomenon...

(And have also used it).

What is it about the much hated assholes that lure nice, innocent people to them? Could it be their looks? cars? money?

The answer is NO.

It is all about the attitude that the asshole (or bitch) has towards others. Using a few movie trailers, I will demonstrate this so called attitude.

The Jerk Theory

I have not seen this movie at all, but the trailer explains it all.



As demonstrated in this trailer, the guy is a nice guy, but because he kept getting jerked around, he decides to put the "jerk theory" to the test. So he acts distant, treats the girls like crap, and tells them straight out how annoying they can be. His result? These women want him.

Of course there is that one girl, who will not tolerate the jerk because in fact she has dealt with many jerks before. So at some point we all either deal with them or date them.

Just Friends



This was a very good movie to watch. In the movie, the guy (who is chubby and goofy) has a crush on his best friend from high school, but she only sees him as a friend. Mocked by everyone in school, he runs away and about a few years later ends up going back to his hometown for Christmas.

The guy ends up being successful, charming, handsome and a womanizing ass. He charms his way with women and just uses them. Eventually he ends up seeing his old best friend crush and feelings resurface. Sure enough he ends up turning good just for her (because she wouldn't put up with jerks either).

Did being an ass work with other woman? Yes. He succeeded (just not with the main girl).

In both trailers, there is a nice guy who turns into a womanizing asshole over a girl and only changes when he realizes that the main girl will not allow it. What's not shown, however, is the attitude that attracts women to them. The attitude I'm talking about is confidence.

I'm aware that some nice guys have confidence, but those nice guys are the ones that are usually taken by lucky women. The other nice guys lack self confidence or the courage to pursue a girl. However, in the case of an asshole, he cares about himself so much that rejection is not in his vocabulary. He is confident that he can get any woman he wants.

The only problem with this is that the asshole cares so much about himself, that he could care less about the other person.

I should know, I've done it all before. Of course, I would be known as a bitch rather than an asshole, but the same rules seem to apply.

My Bitch Days

To understand the asshole phenomenon, I decided to use my days of being a bitch as an example.



The colder I was and the less I cared the more men wanted my attention.


I would use them and then dispose of them...


I even had a "friend" follow me into the girl's bathroom out of fear of losing me.


I didn't put any effort in my relationships.


I would argue with them for no reason (a way of pushing them away, I guess).


Everything had to be my way, no compromise and I had a set of rules men had to abide by.


I was nice some days and bad all the other days (Kind of like a push-pull method)


During my bitch days, I had men that wanted to change me, to be more open and less cold.

What changed?

As time passed, the person that tried so ardently to change me, and stuck around even when I was the biggest bitch imaginable became my first love.

I had fallen in love (plus I also matured).

It is not always like that, though. Mostly, a lot of the men I seem to know, only turn into assholes when they feel like they were shitted on in life and hurt by their first love. Not that many will have this reaction, but some take it hard.

This, however, does not mean that anyone should try to change an asshole (bitch) because at the end of the day it is up to them, if they want to change or not. Even then, people do not seem to understand this and trust me, it has taken me to learn the hard way that they can NOT be changed.

Some guys do use the asshole method to get women, but what men (and some women) do not realize is that it has nothing to do with being an asshole (though some do seem to like mistreatment), it is all about the attitude. It is about the confidence a man has about himself, the fact that he could care less about being rejected, and not only that, there is also that attitude that says "I AM THE MAN." (Plus, people seem to like changing others).

At least that is what I seem to like about assholes. If some nice guys adapted this confident attitude and balanced it out a bit more (not too nice, but not an asshole), they would have women liking them for them not because the women want to change the guy.

There are many reasons why the asshole phenomenon takes place, but explaining the reasons would take forever. Plus, I know I would explode into a million other topics and next thing you'll know I'll probably go back to talking about the man-child all over again.

- Hanny the coffee bean

A Short Message from a Stinky April Fish

Last Friday was Poisson d'avril, a.k.a. April Fool's day. As a dumb joke, I changed my Facebook status to "engaged." I thought that all of my French and American friends would see past the scheme and play along with it.

And they did.

However, my non-April-fool-celebrating Colombian cousin thought I was actually engaged.

Oops. Next year, I'll tape a paper fish to someone's back.

Barb the French Bean

New Facebook Group

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to let you all know that we now have a new Facebook Group. Unlike our networked blogs Facebook page, this group will give you the easy access to chat with our readers and of course us! (I'm on Facebook 24/7). Not only that, but you will also be able to share comments, links, and pictures, but no spamming please! Do remember it is The Two Beans or Not Two Beans Group page and not an advertising center. So If you would like to join the group, then just click here.


Thanks for reading,

Hanny the Coffee Bean

Facebook Just Called Me a Jackass

Okay. I've fallen victim to yet another elusive "captcha," and I only have myself to blame.





Taking a break from the TEF exam cram jam session, I decided to spend a few minutes checking out the website Failbook.com, a site where people submit the inadvertently hilarious comments that their Facebooking friends have made. I eventually came across a post that made me guffaw and thought that it was worthy to place it on Facebook itself.





Lo and behold, when I attempted to share the link on my wall, the little sentinel that resembles a mock gibberish English popped out.






To be granted permission to share certain links, one must surpass the Captcha trial by deciphering the mock English and entering every character in the exact order. I thought that would be a simple affair. After all, the first letter is a "J," right? And the second one is an "A."




Or is that actually a "Q?"





Huh. Funny how that third character is capitalized. And that kinda looks like an "S" as well. In fact, it almost looks like there are two "Ss," really.





J Q A S 5





Hey, wait a minute...how would I sound this out?





Jack...ass?

No. It can't be. Facebook wouldn't be so evil as to call me a jack-ass! That second letter is clearly an "A."

And so it was.

Barb the French Bean


Disclaimer: The evil captcha image came off my Facebook page.

This is Why Facebook Sucks

Most of you are probably on Facebook, and those of you who are not--GOOD.

Sure Facebook connects millions of people to each other, and it lets you chismosiar (Spanish for: to gossip) about every person you know. "Did you see, he's getting married to that skank!" or you end up finding out that the girl you dated in high school is now a lesbian and is engaged to your ex-fiance who magically turned into a lesbian after she had cheated on you with another man (or vice versa). Facebook also has the stalking feature as an added bonus for the ex-population, the guy who smells like a goat's ass that insists he is the man of your dreams, the girl who looks like a horse and doesn't get the clue you are not into her, and for those who have nothing much to do (like me).

Did I mention the games?? Oh yes how addicted I have become to the games. Wasting my precious time playing those games for I don't know about 5-6 hours, when I could be doing something useful like my homework so that I can graduate or work so that I can get money to buy myself a nice meal.


Anyways, my point is that though Facebook has some good to it, it also has some annoying, horrible malfunctions.

If you have ever been on facebook, then you will notice that you get this red little notification to the top left of the screen, alerting you of any new messages. Well as I clicked on the notification it took me to the message, but even after I had clicked on it, it would still not disappear. That notification was there for about 4 hours.


Another thing that seems to get on my nerves is when you can see everything the other person is doing...

Have you ever heard that Facebook can ruin a relationship? Well if you have not, it can. I've heard a few stories, and even I have had bad experiences with Facebook.

The following video is an example of just a few things that may actually happen because of Facebook:



Though it is very humorous, it is sad to say that couples have arguments over trivial things that tend to occur on Facebook.

Facebook also sucks because it has a whole movie about how it first started!! Not only is Facebook taking over the web, it is taking over the movie theaters. Even in movies that have nothing to do with Facebook, but you see it in the background somewhere...



Eventually I am going to start seeing Facebook on billboards and probably in Disney as one of the newest Disney characters.




Even with my complaints on Facebook and the Facebook taking over the world, I still want to see the movie. Crap...I think Facebook brainwashed me.

Hanny the coffee bean

(Note: none of the videos are mine)

FB Quizzes: Liars or Fortunetellers?

(Note: If you can't see the images well, just click on them.)

This is an exchange that happened between Coffee Bean and French Bean the other day.

French Bean decided to take a French Facebook quiz that predicted her future state of love.



Her result?


"You will remain alone for the rest of your life."

After taking quiz...

"Someone you know will tell you he loves you after 20 years."

So, what do you think? Shall French Bean die alone, surrounded by cats to which she's allergic? Will Coffee Bean get married and then, after 20 years of marital bliss, have someone tell her "oh, by the way, I luvs you?"


Do you think this quiz is just B.S.ing us?