Dear Miss Ha-Ha!

Recently, I started something I like to call Dear Miss H. For those unaware, I decided about a few days ago to start an advice site, where I can give other people positive advice and not that "Oh forget him, he's a loser" advice that I hate so very much.

Being the type of person that likes to give advice and humor people at the same time, I decided to add a choice to my 'ask me' form, where the person asking me a question gets to tell me if they want a humorous response or serious advice.

Now as much as I love to humor others, I have been getting a lot of forms asking for me to give a humorous response. Thus, I started to think if I'll probably end up being called Dear Miss Ha-Ha instead of Dear Miss H.

Now wouldn't that be interesting...."Hi I'm Dear Miss Ha-Ha and I have a major in Psychology!" -_-

No wonder no one takes me seriously.

-Hanny the coffee bean

Btw: If any of you do have any questions or in need of advice, do consider visiting Dear Miss H

Pigs and Turds

Earlier today, on my way home from work, I went into a trail of thoughts. As many probably know, I am single and have been for the past 2-3 months now. So unfortunately, my mind went into thought of the disgrace of a man I decided to date, but then I started to think about the blog and the way it was started.

When Barb and I decided to start Two Beans or Not Two Beans, we were both going through a heart break caused by despicable, immature, heartless men. It was a time that in some way was a major turning point in our lives; I struggled with my studies, while she struggled with the heartbreak of leaving France.

Though we both went through very painful events, I came to realize that if it were not for our simultaneous heart breaking experiences, Two Beans or Not Two Beans would have probably never existed.

What does this mean? it means I might have never had the opportunity to express my creativity or in any case cheer someone up who is stuck at work with a stick up their ass boss.

If my break-up would have never happened, I would have never gained the experience and the knowledge I obtained from Two Beans or Not Two Beans. I would have probably never discovered how many ideas could come from just a heart break and if I might just add I believe it also made me closer to Barb.

The reason I bring this up is because many a times a person does not realize why painful moments in our lives happen, but there is always a reason for it.

Right now, my current break up left me distressed because in all honesty I admired this man. I thought highly of this man and foremost I appreciated this man, but again there is always a reason for why things happen as they do.

As I kept thinking about this, I started to notice something. This break-up only motivates me to write. I have come up with several ideas; from writing a witty book that bashes the man-child, writing a play or sitcom based on my dramatic, yet quite comical love life to creating a site named 'Dear miss H' where any heart broken soul (or anyone in need of advice) can ask me for advice.

Now I know, I know- what makes me think I can give advice? trust me, I may not follow my own advice sometimes (which I should), but I tend to use my psychology background for my advises plus I might actually add a feature where you get to choose what kind of response you want: serious or humorous.

As for the witty book bashing all men-children, I think I've dated enough of those to know exactly what I'm talking about and the play/sitcom would be dying out loud hilarious, especially if its based on my love life- fo' sho.

Of course, my wounds are still there, but hell who knows maybe my life will turn out a lot like the movie 'Somethings Gotta Give' or so I hope.

Hanny the coffee bean

Just One of The Guys

Being a female, who is usually found among a group of guys, I took interest in the movie 'Just One of The Guys' upon seeing the title on Netflix.

At first glance, I thought the movie would be somewhat like a story about always being the friend, but never the girlfriend situations, but it wasn't.

The movie focuses on a high school journalist girl, who is determined to win a summer internship at a local newspaper, but when her professor passes up her article in favor of a few others written by males, she is convinced that it was passed up because she is a girl. So in order to win her internship she goes undercover as one of the guys and spends a week at her rival school to re-submit her article. That is until she meets....Rick.

DUM DUM DUM!

Well as you can see, the girl falls in love. Not exactly what I expected, but for an 80's film, it was really damn good.

Of course, I was expecting other things like a kick ass girl, who hangs out with a lot of guys and blows things up.

Sort of like me! Okay, okay so I don't blow things up...anymore, but hell it would have been one hell of a movie to see some scary ass girl's hair on fire.

Hanny the coffee bean

(disclaimer: Picture is not mine, it is from amazon.com)

I Wish I Could Jet Away...

I can hardly believe that it has been a year since I was on a plane heading back to France. (Post here.) This year, a return a Croissant-and-Baguetteland isn't going to happen.

Although Dijon and all of my friends, both French and teaching assistant, are far away from me, I know that, deep down, I will go back. I just need to get some things organized on my side of the Atlantic before that happens.

Until then, Happy France is Happy! I think I'll celebrate the good times by buying a camembert. Even a roquefort will do.

Barb the French Bean

How To Make Money...or Not

I have come to the point in my life, where all my bills are attacking me. They have finally come at me like a stampede of animals trying to break through some barriers.

As stated in past posts, I am only just a student getting by with what I get paid. This is used in paying credit cards, rent, phone bill, groceries, and *cough*Netflix*cough*. I know it doesn't seem like a lot to pay, but then there is the usual car troubles or the usual trips to Miami to visit the family.

So in an attempt to make more money I came up with solutions that does not involve me getting a second job.

1. Sell "Donate" my brain to science



Just like some people sell "donate" their plasma for money, I should sell "donate" my brain to science. I would make millions off my brain! I mean who wouldn't want the brain of a left handed leap year born Latina short girl?! Of course the only down fall with this is that by the time I would give my brain to science, I wouldn't be alive to enjoy the money.

2. Stand on the corner



No, no, no...not selling my body, but rather just stand on the corner with a flashing neon sign saying "Throw money at me" and see if people will just throw money at me. The problem with this is that the prostitutes who own any of the corners of my choice might kill me.

3. Exterminate BIG RATS

By big rats...I don't mean literally a rat, if you get my drift. It would be perfect, I'll pretend to be exterminating pests, but the only pests to exterminate will be the ones with a bounty on their heads. Like that one movie called EXterminators.

4. Sell other people stuff on Ebay

I am not talking about dressing up as santa claus, breaking into houses and taking valuables to sell. I am talking about selling items that once belonged to cheating significant others. Have a cheating significant other? Have evidence? Then let me sell it! What better way to get money than to sell it online and the people who do allow me access to these items will get the satisfaction of revenge. (Just like the woman a few years ago...This is what happens to cheaters and mistresses)

5. Anyone want a guy?

That's right. I have a good amount of guy friends, all very handsome and cheap too. I'll start at 50 dollars. Of course, selling them will leave me kind of lonely and eventually it will start something...

6. Sell squirrels to the black market

Why not?

Eh. maybe I'll look for other ways to make money, where I won't get shot.

Hanny the coffee bean

Things I've Learned While Surviving Unemployment

-The total number of hours I've spent walking in Miami probably equate to what I habitually accomplished during one week in Dijon.

-No other country makes burgers and milkshakes like we do.

- The former and latter factors of my new sedentary way of life are demonstrated quite visibly on my body (yeesh).

-Butters is decidedly my favorite of the South Park characters.

-The boredom that comes from being unemployed sucks.

-Seriously. It really, really sucks.

-I know I have a green thumb; it was just thwarted by the rain and scorching sun.

-So were my plants.

-I make awesome stuffed bell peppers and chocolate chip banana pancakes.

-Summer lasts far too long in South Florida.

-Miami happens to be a very dull city if all you can do for entertainment is eat at restaurants, shop at the mall and go out to nightclubs.

-This dullness is painfully obvious if your boyfriend* lives 5-hours away.

-All my creative energy has been zapped.

-Hula dancing is wicked fun. Plus, it's a good way to work out the abs.

Barb the French Bean

*Yes, I have a boyfriend now, and he's a really cool guy. Like, a really, really Cool Guy. The kind of really, really Cool Guy who opens doors for me, offers me a bouquet of flowers, talks to me one the phone for hours and makes me feel comfortable enough to bring out the now-dormant high school geek that I smothered under a layer of thick make-up once I started college. He shall be referred to as "Cool Guy" on this blog. Capisce?

Update: Since I am still bored, my creativity arose from the dead and decided to manifest itself into a cartoon.

Ladies and Gents, I present to you...The Boredom Monster!!!






This creature rises from the depths of fun and frivolity and feeds off whatever form of entertainment it can find. It sucks amusing jokes, walks in the park and cruising with friends right through its Q*bertlike snout.

Come to think of it, the Boredom Monster may also be a second cousin of the Purple People Eater. But twice-removed. The Purple People Eater was cool enough to have a catchy song written about him; the Boredom Monster would probably object to any fun songs and would just vacuum them right up the snout.

Okay, that is all.