Sunday, August 21, 2011

The Brain Anatomy of a Man-Child

NOTE: Male readers, I am not calling anyone a man child, so no need to get offended. Take this as a debate if you must.

A few weeks ago, I experienced what I would like to call a ridiculous break-up. If you have been reading my posts from day one, then you probably already know that I have gone over the past year or so through two break-ups and a so called rebound. Not very proud of that.

When the break-up occurred, I was left distraught and felt like I was stuck in some vicious cycle. I blamed myself for hours, but in the end I came to the conclusion that it was absolutely NOT me.

I'll explain my conclusion in a later post, but for the past few days, my tiny brain developed an idea. What if I could write a comedy about my life? What if I could share all my bad experiences in a way that will make others laugh? Of course, bad experiences aren't a laughing matter, but it's better than being depressed, right?

So the idea of writing a book came to be. Though, I will be sharing some of my experiences here (like I always do). Hence, the title of this post.

The Brain Anatomy of a Man-Child.

I came up with this idea when I started to ponder upon what goes on in all of my exes heads and why is it that when they have someone good they let it go? and yes I do consider myself someone good (without trying to sound conceited). Then of course I realized that many of them have all been a Man-Child.

The Man-Child as defined by Urban Dictionary is

1) a grown man who is very immature, therefore considered a man child.

2) A man by age but a child in mentality and actions. Can't have fun without a beer; oftentimes brews his own beer. Still relate to women as sex objects (even in their marriage) and are emotionally undeveloped (e.g., fight for their rights mentality even if there is nothing worth fighting; rarely takes responsibility for own failings). A general irritant to women and men that have matured.

3)A full grown man, over the age of 20, who still needs to be supported financially or emotionally by his parents. May or may not live at home with parents, but needs consistent reassuring. Is unable to have healthy relationships with women because of childish behavior, but is in desperate need of someone. May or maynot be a fanboy or gamer.

Keep in mind, you can't believe everything Urban Dictionary says, especially when it comes to my name, but this all sounds about right.

Now that a Man-Child has been defined, I think it is time to look at the brain anatomy of a Man-Child.

Let me just say that this is NOT referring to a man, but a Man-Child.

The Man-Child brain:

Sex (all the fun none of the responsibilities): Everyone thinks about sex (yes, even women), but what makes the man-child so different from a man is that the man-child could care less about the other person. The man-child likes one night stands and easy women. If the man-child is in a relationship, he will not give anything to the other person except a late night call to see if he can have his way with his so called "partner." A man at least puts the effort (calling everyday, flowers here and there, supporting the other person, holding hands, etc...) not the man-child. Sometimes the man-child will also try to pressure his "partner" to give in to him.

Video games, beer, strippers, and porn: No there is nothing wrong with anything I just listed in the category, but when it comes to the man-child, these are the only things he really cares about. Rather than making a future for himself or giving his life some sort of purpose (like using his hidden talents), he rather spend day in and day out sitting in front of his computer obsessing over porn, sitting in front of the tv playing video games all the time, sitting in front of the tv with a good beer in hand or sitting in front of strippers. A man will like these things too, but it isn't his priority.

Lies, lies and the usual cover ups: Everyone lies once in a while, but the man-child will bull shit alot. The man-child will give you a bunch of useless information trying to show his intelligence, but manipulates this situation to add something that isn't real. The man-child will also tell stories and if the stories do not make sense, you know it's a lie of some sort.

Emotional insecurity: The man-child is full of insecurities, but emotional insecurities is one that comes to light. Everyone gets hurt emotionally at some point and we tend to grow from it, but a man-child will hold on to the past hurts and does not let go or move on from it. Therefore, every relationship that he has with women is an unhealthy, self destructive, and selfish relationship. The man-child is also stubborn enough to not admit when he is wrong in certain situations. This also applies to whenever something goes wrong in his life, he takes these things as attacks rather than to have patience and deal with it like mature men do.

Future: The man-child's future is displayed as being one of the smallest in the brain along with a healthy relationship with a woman and intelligence. The man-child is intelligent, but because his priority's are other destructive things, the man-child cannot put his natural skills and talents to good use, which leads him to self-pity (self-loathe as well) and depression. Thus causing him to experience a lack of healthy relationships and a none ending vicious cycle (unless he offs himself or grows five other pairs of balls).

There is so much more to a Man-Child, but it would take a weeks worth of writing to explain this complicated type of man. Just know not all men are alike, just the ones in the man-child category.

Hanny the coffee bean


  1. Nice. I've just realised a couple of my mates are these very creatures you've just described. :(

  2. If it makes you feel any better, some of my friends are these creatures too.

    -Coffee Bean

  3. And this is how I ended up with a boyfriend MUCH ... MUCH older than me.

  4. And these are the reasons women should NEVER consider serious relationships with anyone of the male species under 25. Although there are those lucky few who find the elusive man among the man-children.

    I do think urban dictionary has it wrong about the whole "living with the parents' thing". In the world's current economic climate, being financially dependent on the parents is not exactly a bad thing, but a necessity.

    Also, I think you need to take a break from dating, Coffee Bean. Maybe finish up the book about the man-child before going back into the dating scene.

  5. Oh, and I apologize for the random apostrophe after parents. Not supposed to be there.

  6. Janice: I'm glad you were able to. I can never seem to find someone older :/

    RandomRambler: My ex-boyfriend was 25 about to be 26...and yet he behaved like a man-child. I thought that because he was older than me, he would be mature, but I was wrong.

    I don't think there is anything bad with guys living with their parents, if anything I prefer that because in some cases it lets me see just how close the guy is to his family.

    And yes I do need to take a break from dating. Though, I did try after my rebound, but my ex-boyfriend seemed to always want to get closer to me when we were just friends...*sighs*

    -Coffee bean

  7. These men-children... we shall soon find their antidote. I agree with the break. looking forward to the book.

  8. Hehe. Great analysis. It also made me feel good because although I can be kind of immature and playful I have checked myself against your list and I am not a man child.

  9. Hey, I just noticed the cake button. Thank you :D

  10. Yes, my ex and the one so awful I can't call him an ex, he's just The Jerk who was in his 40's.

    Mostly, this describes our boarder who just left yesterday. Thank Heaven. He is 38. The other thing about the man-child, some of them refuse and never grow up.

  11. I went through the same thing this year. If you ever write that book I can totally contribute. He is still wearing his college letterman jacket and is now 33. Nuff said.. right?

  12. You must be a fangirl - of Neneh Cherry! Manchild (sigh), you are surely mature enough to drop the name calling by now?


  13. It’s no secret that most men only want one thing, right?

    Well it turns out that’s not only wrong, but may actually be the root of many failed relationships.

    In fact, the one thing men are universally obsessed with...

    Is actually a feeling he’s been chasing his whole life.

    It’s an elusive combination of emotion and biological drive that’s rarely satisfied in life or love.

    ===> (The secret obsession that makes men fall in love) - (What men look for in “The One”) <=====

    And when you know how to satisfy this life long obsession...

    He will make it his life long mission to cherish and please you...

    And he will pursue your love to the ends of the earth.

    Here’s a video you won’t want to miss that shows you how to become your man’s deepest obsession:

    ===> (The most powerful emotion for men) - (Men fall in love with women who do THIS): <=====

  14. Well - man/child syndrome can also be found in female/child fantasy syndrome. Looking for a man to fill her dreams.... How about boundaries people. Stop sleeping around and start getting into "relationships" that aren't a nightly oxytocin fix. Get to know, slow down, build your spirit up and when entering into a relationship recognize that it should be a "courtship" and if not the right match then free the person up to move on. Stop the routine of friend with benefits. Find some old people that made a good match and consider the how and why.

    Good luck you all!

    PS - I've made my mistakes and living with what I can salvage at age 65+. Oh yes, we do grow older :)

  15. I married and wanted out barely 1yr in marriage, my husband never got it over with his ex. He developed a strange attitude towards me and kept silent on most issues hitting our marriage and constantly acted in secret. Luckily I was introduced to this software genius at ''hackingloop6@gmail . co m'' who hacked his phone and gained me remote access to all his phone activities and exposed all he was doing behind me with his ex.. At most points I think it is worth staying single and doing just fine.


Apparently, leaving comments on this blog is a hit-or-miss game of Russian roulette: you are either lucky and can comment away, or you are required to log in when the settings are CLEARLY set to allow trouble-free commenting (sorry 'bout that, folks). If anything, the Facebook page is always a viable option. :) -Barb