Monday, October 31, 2011

Movie Marathon = Roller Coaster

Every year, a few days before Halloween, I have a tradition of watching a marathon of scary movies. This year, however, my emotions joined in on the movie marathon causing me to experience a roller coaster.

I know Twilight is not considered to be a horror movie, but I couldn't help watching it. So as I continued to watch it my emotions got the best of me.

Of course, I moved on to watching Halloween H2O, but my emotions were still out of control.

As I continued to watch a series of horror movies, something unexpected happened...

The fire alarm for the whole building next to my building, decided to go off at approximately one in the morning.

(You'll hear me whisper a bit, but you can hear the fire alarm)

For someone watching horror movies, I experienced all types of emotions other than fear and due to the fire alarm going off, I experienced annoyance. So after my whole emotional roller coaster, I was in between annoyance and just laughing my head off.

I know this seems kind of crazy and I shouldn't have let my emotions join in on my movie marathon, but at least I got it out of my system.

Hanny the coffee bean

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Dr. Pepper Brownies: Not a Mishap

Surfing on the internet means you will find a lot of interesting things and one of them includes Dr. Pepper brownies.

I came across Dr. Pepper brownies when I saw a post on facebook about Dr. Pepper bbq sauce. My thought was that if there was Dr. Pepper bbq sauce then there must be Dr. Pepper brownies! and so I googled the recipe until I found one good recipe by a really awesome blogger.

I gathered all the ingredients, which was not from a brownie box and set myself to work. The end result:

Amazing Dr. Pepper brownies!!

Of course, it didn't end there...Frosting was still missing, but not just any frosting....

Dr. Pepper frosting!

So with the help of my roommate, we made a really nice and sweet frosting that the recipe suggested:

Though, I'm not much of a Dr. Pepper fan, I must add that it was one of the most amazing treats I have tried. Even the friends who thought it was an odd thing to do to a brownie could not believe how delicious it turned out to be.

So I recommend that if you have the time, try Dr. Pepper brownies. You will not regret it.

I will probably make some more after I make chocolate soup.

Hanny the coffee bean

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Sneak Peek: Halloween Costume Edition

Halloween is really close and I for one cannot wait!

Since my costume requires make-up, I decided I should just try on my whole outfit with the make-up as well. Of course my make-up didn't turn out so great (I need to buy better face paint), but I am very pleased with my costume.

So ladies and gentlemen I am pleased to present this years costume:

That's right! I'm a mime and of course no one else knows (since it won't be going on my FB just yet), but I think I made a great choice.

So what is everyone else going to be for halloween?

Hanny the coffee bean

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Creepy Truth

During Halloween, many people like to share urban legends to give Halloween a more creepy effect, but what many do not know is that some urban legends originate from something real.

Urban legends are usually told to scare or make others believe it (sometimes the teller believes it), but there is always an origin to the legend, which differs from the legend itself.

One that seems to stick out the most, however, is the story of the bunny man.

The Bunny Man

There are many variations of the legend, but the one legend that sticks out is the one with the inmates.

A bus full of inmates crashes and some prisoners escape. They found all the inmates, but one. During this time, locals started to find shaved, half eaten rabbit carcasses hanging around trees and the bridge overpass. Then finally police discover the body of a man left in a similar style of the rabbit carcasses hanging around a bridge overpass called "The bunny man bridge" along the railroad tracks.

Officials suspect this was the doing of the inmate calling him the bunny man. They finally locate the inmate, but as he tries to escape around the overpass, an oncoming train hits him. It is said the inmate was arrested for killing his family on Easter Sunday.

In the time approaching Halloween, it is said that the carcasses are hanging from the trees and overpass, and that a figure is seen by passerby making their way through the tunnel.

Of course this is all false, but the bunny man exists. He wore a bunny suit and threatened people with an axe. (sounds even better doesn't it?)

The real truth to the legend is that a man in a bunny suit was seen around threatening people with an axe of trespassing, but as far as I know he never harmed anyone.

More to the story.

There are more legends with truthful origins like bloody Mary, the haunted house (and its creepy "fake" dolls), the dead body under the bed etc...but I do need sleep tonight, so I shall not mention anymore.

Urban legends are fun to research even if they do have a creepy origin to them, but sometimes it's better not to know especially if it involves real dead bodies.

Hanny the coffee bean

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Cat Make-Up Practice = FAIL

As I mentioned in a previous post, I plan to dress up this Halloween with cat ears. So, I got the idea that I should start practicing painting myself like a cat for said costume.

I even had the appropriate music, complete with catchy, head-bobbing-inducing beats, to inspire me in making my face look more feline.

Before you ask if I really love cats: I'm allergic to 'em, so I, too, can't hug every cat.

(The video is not mine.)

I did decorate my face, although I think the make-up session went more in the direction of "If Mimes Crossbred with the Mike Myers's Cat in the Hat."

Barb the French Bean


For all of you lovely people who grace this blog with keyword searches around the lines of "cat make-up" or "cat eye make-up" or even "Halloween cat makeup," here is a picture of what I actually looked like on Halloween. I called my costume "Sophisti-Cat."

You're welcome.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Don't Do This for Halloween

Unless you want to be branded by the kids in your neighborhood as "the weirdo health nut who doesn't hand out candy," don't do this. Be warned that kids are more than willing keep their end of the "Trick or Treat" bargain...

Barb the French Bean

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Things I Have Learned in 2011

As the year is coming to an end in two months, I decided to write everything I've learned in 2011.

1. Just because the bitch is blond doesnt mean she cant break drive thru windows.

2. If you date someone who eats a lot, you gain weight, he doesn't.

3. Babies know how to use escalators without a parent. (story coming soon to a blog near you)

4. My ex-boyfriend wouldn't date himself. Two crazies doesn't make a sane one.

5. If a guy says "I can be your transformer"...RUN.

6. Little kids are like little mini people on crack.

7. Dr. Pepper brownies are AMAZING!

8. Anti-Valentine day parties are some of the best parties I have attended (and met a lot of attractive single men).

9. Some people really shouldn't wear skinny jeans, especially if they have a big ass and you can see their ass crack. (EWW)

10. If your gut feeling is telling you something, LISTEN to it.

11. Never EVER watch the human centipede on ANYONE'S recommendation.

12. Guys have equally the same amount of drama as girls (at least the guys I know).

13. Dating friends comes with a very hefty consequence.

14. Never argue with a pregnant woman.

15. Some people are just not meant to be on tv...

My list keeps going, but I think that's enough weirdness for this post.

Hanny the coffee bean

Friday, October 14, 2011

Love Letters to Everything I Hate

Dear facebook stalkers,

Whenever I get a horny ass message from you guys, I melt. My heart races whenever you guys friend request me and the sole thought that you guys might be masturbating to me makes my heart skip a beat. I love getting the messages where you guys tell me how beautiful I am and that there is no other girl like me. I especially love it when I find out, I wasn't the only girl you sent those messages to. You all had me at "Damn girrrr." I can't wait to talk to you all soon.

The message above says that finding my profile was the "prettiest" thing to happen and that even though people might tell me this a lot, he had a need to tell me that I am a beautiful woman.

I had more messages, but I ended up erasing some of them a while back.

Dear ghost in my room,

I love the way you torture me when I sleep. I love waking up from a strange shake of my bed and not being able to move when I do wake up. You are so funny and adorable when you levitate my clothes while I'm taking pictures of myself. Thank you for the sleepless nights.

If you look to the left of the picture you will see something in the air (looks like clothes), but when i turned around, it wasnt there...

Dear nightmares,

Have I told you how much I love you? I love spending hours and hours of my sleep time being tortured by you. I love how you make me imagine horrible, hideous things that make me wake up screaming. I enjoy our time together while you show me how horrible this world is, how horrible the people in my life are, and how I'll never amount to anything in life. Thank you for all your negativity and torture.

Dear 3 year ex boyfriend,

It has been approximately 1 year and a half since our loving separation. I am sooooo happy that I see you every day of my damn life. I love how when you see me you run away as fast as you can (I'm sorry I can't play hide and seek anymore). Every time I get on the bus to go home, I see you there with your greasy hair soaking the bus seat, how OH SO CUTE! and the fact that we are apparently neighbors, living in the same damn neighborhood gives me such a comfort to know that I am forsaken to see you for the rest of my life ( or until I move). Though with my luck I know I'll get to see your big pores oozing oil face often.

Dear inconsiderate customers,

Thank you for loving me so much and throwing all my nicely folded clothes to the ground. I think about you guys all the time and feel distraught when you aren't acting like animals in my department. It saddens me when your children are not peeing on my floor or running up the escalators that go down. I get butterflies in my stomach whenever I see you all ravaging through the department like if its the last store left on this planet. I love it when you all set your crying gnomes on the counter while I try to answer an important call. Last, but not least it touches me when you all are rude while I try to help.

The following video shows you the animals people turn into while shopping...(not my video)

Dear dumb asses that almost killed me at the Childish Gambino Concert,

I love feeling your sweaty bodies on me, especially when you were trying to push me out of the way when I was the one in front. That one guy with beer in his hand wooed me by spitting on me while he sang a drunk ass song. I especially loved getting trampled by your tall ass dumb asses, it was very romantic. You guys were very much amazing when it came to words, especially when it came to talking about 'bitches and hoes' that attended the concert. My heart sang when you guys started to laugh like hyenas...OH THE SWEET SOUND.

Yours Truly,


Thursday, October 13, 2011

Halloween Kid Costumes = EPIC Pwnage

Since national Dress-Like-A-Slut Day is coming soon, I said to myself months before that if I managed to lose enough weight, I would dress myself in any costume that I wanted. I had contemplated such beauties as Candy Corn Witch and Hatsune Miku before deciding on the blue dress that Belle wears in the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast.

Well, months have passed and I haven't met my goal. I feel that dressing up as a thunder-thighed and bingo-winged version of the trim princess would be utterly ridiculous, too. Rather than skipping Halloween entirely, I will opt to wear this t-shirt with some black cat ears.

Image courtesy of I Can Has Cheezburger's Lolmart

After I ordered the shirt, it suddenly hit me of how ironic it was that now, as an adult, I wanted to dress up as a princess when it never occurred to me to be one as a child. It was at that point which I started to remember how as a kid I just didn't care what my body looked like. Even though, as a second-grader, it was obvious that I weighed a little more than what I should have for my age and height, I still had not developed the self-consciousness of my body that comes from aging, puberty and bullying. My kid self relished being "me" and knew exactly what she wanted to dress up as because when you're a kid, you ARE your costume.

And I wanted to be Catwoman!

Yes, you read that correctly: Catwoman! Why such a costume? Because my 8-year-old self had recently watched Batman Returns on video cassette with Dad and concluded that a vengeful Selina Kyle was that best thing to have graced Gotham's streets. Despite being a villain, she was a woman who knew exactly what she wanted and she wasn't going to let anyone, not her murderous boss, not a Danny Devito Penguin, heck, not even Michael Keaton's Batman, deter her from it. (Plus, the scene in which she plays "tic-tac-toe" with the thief's face is just freakin' awesome.)

My poor parents. They never knew what was coming to them.

I remind you of the time frame: 1995. This was prior to my family owning a computer and taking advantage of using AOL dial-up connections and ordering things on Back in those days, if you wanted something, you had to drive in a car, go to a physical store and ask for a product. It couldn't just be done sitting on a chair in the comfort of your own home. I was asking for a costume that was roughly outdated by 3 years since the movie came out in 1992. I could only imagine the ordeal they went through to find that damn costume.

Alas, if it were only that simple. My poor mother had to contend with another factor:

One store eventually pulled through and I came home from school one day to try on my very own Catwoman costume. I remember that it felt like Christmas had come early that year.

It was very tight-fitting and the black ensemble went very well with my white sneakers and chubby tummy. It was painfully obvious that did not have the slim figure to actually look good in the disguise.

But you know what? I didn't care. I was Catwoman.

So, this Halloween, if you have kids come up to your door, give 'em the good chocolate. That's all they really want, anyway.

Barb the French Bean