Before 2013 completely disappears...

As 2014 slowly approaches, I wanted to take this time to share photos of all the marvelous Christmas trees I've seen.

Just kidding. I won't put you through that torture. I think one Christmas tree is enough for this year.

 Anyways, while reading Barb's post on spending Christmas alone, her recap of 2013 had me thinking of all the events in my life throughout the year. Even though certain events didn't come out the way I wanted them to, I must say that it wasn't a completely terrible year.

Every event taught me something new and the older I seem to be getting the wiser I am becoming.

That being said, here is a recap of my 2013 and the lessons I've learned.

1. I began my internship for a non profit and was bullied by the other interns.

What I've learned: Bullying doesn't only happen in middle school.

2. I started my new job in my chosen field.

What I've learned: I'm a winner!

3. I moved in with a couple.

What I've learned: If you have options, run!

4. I reconnected with an old acquaintance through facebook.

What I've learned: Facebook brings people together.

5. I graduated college and earned my bachelors!

What I've learned: You can finish school after all.

6. Saw my ex-boyfriend with his new wifey the same day I graduated.

What I've learned: Orlando is too damn small.

7. Went to New York with one of my friends to see this so called acquaintance.

What I've learned: Never EVER go to harlem at night again.

8. This old acquaintance became my bestie and soon my not by choice friends with benefits.

What I've learned: It's okay to say no. I HAVE a choice.

9. I went to Chicago with my friends with benefits and soon realized what it was like to be used.

What I've learned: no matter how well you know a person, always listen to your gut.

10. Got my heart broken.

What I've learned: I am the only one to blame for this, but at least I didn't pay for the hotel in Chicago or New York.

11. Guy I had a crush on last year (guy I also made out with) comes back into my life.

What I've learned: They always come back.

12. Old crush quickly becomes a fling and then ends up moving away.

What I've learned: My feelings for him weren't the same as last year. Moving was the best thing he ever did (at least for me).

13. Went to Seattle to see a friend.

What I've learned: No matter how far friends are, they still care about you.

14. Saw French bean and went to Georgia.

What I've learned: Adventures are always so much fun with friends! And never trust hotel pictures, they lie about their appearance.

15. I move again with the couple and a single guy to a bigger house.

What I've learned: Rooms being too close together calls for disaster.

16. A close friend hurts me.

What I've learned: sometimes even when you don't want to, you have to let go of the negative people in your life. Even if you really care for them.

17. I go on a 7 day cruise with one of my  friends and connect with a cutie on the cruise.

What I've learned: Never give him your number.

18. Cutie and I start to "date" but in the end  it fails.

What I've learned: Things happen for a reason.

19. I take off for Christmas to Budapest.

What I've learned: Office jobs are not for me and hopefully some day I will be able to find a job that lets me travel.

This year was a crazy one for me filled with good, bad and crazy events. Even though, I didn't move to New York as planned, it gave me a chance to reflect on some of the choices I've made and now that 2013 is almost gone, I will be applying the lessons I've learned to the next chapter of my life.

Now that I've tortured you with my list of events, let me leave you with one last torturous thing.

CHRISTMAS TREES!

Have a Happy New Year!

Hanny the coffee bean

P.S. I did this whole post through my phone, so if something seems off or looks like gibberish, I blame the phone.

I Am Alive

Isolated in an ivory tower...

Captured by pirates...

Fighting the oppression in Narnia...

Alright, I have no amazing excuse as to why I have not posted in a while, except the usual excuse of life getting in the way. I have been busy to the point of exhaustion, but I am alive and that's exactly the point of this post (obviously).

With that said, I shall now end this post with a few odd photos.





This is a candle for a beer bottle






 I thought this was funny because it does have some truth to it





 Kronenbourg in the bathroom of a restaurant. I could have gotten drunk in the bathroom...

-Hanny the coffee bean

We Got An Award, Yo.

We here at Two Beans Or Not Two Beans have recently been granted The Versatile Blogger Award!

*cheers, fanfare, confetti and ticker tape parade*

As with most blogger awards, its acceptance comes with having to earn it by following as set of rules. So, without further ado, the procedures are as follows:

Numéro Un.
Nominate 15 bloggers for The Versatile Blogger Award.


These lucky fellows are none other than:


1. Invader Stu from Invading Holland. One of my (Barb) favorite blogs of ALL TIME. A fair warning, though: you may bust a gut laughing when you read about his hilarious cultural shock life in the lowlands.


2. Emily from Emily in the Glass. Emily writes beautifully about France and wines and takes awesome photography.

3. Seilann from Sand from a Distant Shore. Her blog is quite underground, so be sure to channel your inner hipster when you read it.

4. Neenuh over at Francey Pants. Her talented Minnesotan humor needs more exposure, folks.

5. Tricia at Confessions of a Recovering Cynic. She's going to publish a book soon!

6. Crazy Cris at Here, There and Everywhere. Her hiking journeys across Spain are simply gorgeous!

7. Joanna at Dehydration and Procrastination. Whenever she posts new cartoons, it is magical.

8. Ash from Ash-Matic Does Things. This new-comer is indeed up and coming with a blogging punch! His imaginative take on activities are hilarious and featured with cartoons.

9. Brandon and Bryan from A Beer for the Shower. Start reading their blog posts and cartoons and you won't stop until you've reached the very beginning of it...or have died from laughter.

10. Harley from 1., b., Platypus....Her various topics will keep you reading. Some will make you think and others will make you laugh (One of coffee bean's favorite reads).

11. Doublexuan from Whiny Pencil. He is an illustrator with some AMAZING illustrations. Check it out and be amazed!

12. Dave from Blogography. His cartoons are just too cute and he always has a good story to tell. He also has some nice pictures on his posts.

13. The person from Arguing with a Doughnut. Has crazy cartoons :D You will love it!

14. Amy from Geek with Curves. If you like all geeky things, like me, then you will simply love this blog. (Coffee bean especially loves all the good youtube videos!!)

15. The person from Ikea Hackers. Coffee bean loves all things from Ikea!! So she just couldn't help herself...

(To the award's recipients: even if you don't participate in these sort of posts, or have won it previously, just know that we do genuinely love your blogs and wanted to show some recognition!)

Numéro Deux.
In the same post, add The Versatile Blogger Award.

(Please take a moment to "ooh" and "ahh" at its glorious green splendor.)

Numéro Trois.

In the same post, thank the blogger who nominated you in a post with a link back to their blog.

That honor befalls upon none other than the lovely Anna Smith over at Universal Gibberish and Mik from Stylish Obsessions! Thank you so much!

Numéro Quatre.

In the same post, share seven completely random pieces of information about yourself.

Since there are two of us, we've decided to divide the Random Facts in half. Therefore, each fact will be evenly distributed by 3.5. You can read about these facts at the end of the rules list.

Numéro Cinq.
In the same post, include this set of rules.

Numéro Six.
Inform each nominated blogger of their nomination by posting a comment on each of their blogs.

Right. So, here are the Seven Random Facts about us, Coffee Bean and French Bean. We will also refer to ourselves in the third person because it will help distinguish who said what; please don't think we are pretentious like The Jerk Mido from Ocarina of Time.

Drumroll, please...

Uno.
French Bean and Coffee Bean met at the same high school, but due to the difference in their graduating years, they only ever shared one class together: yearbook.


Dos.
Coffee bean has a strange addiction to keys (i.e. key earrings, key necklaces, decorative keys etc...).


She has more key items somewhere. By the way, the earrings you see, she made them herself.

Tres.
If it weren't so detrimental to her health, French Bean would happily subsist on nothing but ice cream, café cubano, medianoche sandwiches and Stacy's "Simply Naked" Pita Chips.


But mostly ice cream.

Cuatro.
Hating the same routine and look, coffee bean changes her hair color/style every so often.

Cinco.
French Bean has a D.J. alter ego (who will be coming soon to a birthday blog post near you).

Seis.
 Being a social drinker, coffee bean is proud to say that she can chug beer and other alcoholic drinks.


coffee bean does have a picture of her chugging down beer, but she rather not show it. Instead she will show you a picture of this fruity drink.

Siete.
To prevent any psychological distress, French Bean's underwear somehow needs to (rather illogically) either complement or coordinate with her wardrobe.


Take, for instance, this photo of her wearing a frilly top with red flowers.

Even if you don't see it, chances are French Bean is sporting her red bra and panties to go with it.




We are so happy to have had such an award bestowed on our blog! Thanks once again from both of us!

Hanny the Coffee Bean and Barb the French Bean

Airplane Bathrooms Vs. Coffee Bean

I'm not great at story telling. To me going into too much detail gets a bit tedious for me. So instead I will tell you what my thoughts were while I was waiting to use the airplane bathroom.

If you have ever gone into an airplane bathroom then you know how small it is. If you have never been in an airplane bathroom then let me demonstrate.

That is an airplane bathroom. Small as hell...

Anyways, so on my way to England, I had to be on a plane for about 8 hours and being human and all, I had to use the bathroom.

So as I make it to the bathroom, I look at the little sign that says occupied. I go towards the next bathroom and that pesky little occupied sign was on.

As I waited outside the bathroom door, my mind could not shut up.

I really need to go...damn it how long is this person going to take...

*5 seconds later*

My bladder is going to explode! get out of the bathroom!!!

*stares down occupied signal*

*about 10 minutes...*

WTF?! are you shitting in there?? did you die?! OMG my bladder is going to burst!!!

It's probably an elder...I hope its not that 700 lb guy who kept staring down my food, he was scary..

*a few more minutes*

*Young girl comes out of the bathroom*

WTF?! was she playing with barbies in there?!

*Rushes into bathroom and handles some business*

I hope barbies aren't going to attack me in here...what if the lights turn off and I get bitten by something. Or maybe the airplane falls and all they find is a girl on the toilet...that girl is me...

I don't want to be remembered as the girl on the toilet!! or maybe before the plane falls my knight in shining armor will rescue me from the bathroom, but wait! I don't want him to see me trying to take a shit on the toilet...I rather die as the girl on the toilet. Maybe the hidden rabid barbies will eat me alive before they find a girl on the toilet.

*Gets off toilet and proceeds to pull up pants*

*Some turbulence occurs and something falls down*

Ack! The barbies are attacking me!

*waves arms around in the air frantically*

omg what if it was a roach? maybe they are in cahoots. I knew I hated those damn plastic things, they are secretly working with the roaches to take over the world!

*Stares at a tissue paper that had "attacked"/fallen to the ground*

No one must know how paranoid I am at the moment. Anyone would think I was bonkers...Can you imagine "Hi my name is Hanny, I'm a psychology major who thinks barbies and roaches are in cahoots to take over the world."

*Looks around and flushes toilet*

I wonder what would happen if a snake randomly appeared out of the toilet. Where would it come from? It would be impossible or would it...

*Washes hands*

I wonder how people even dare join the mile high club, especially in this tiny place. I mean leprechauns can do it, but people? really? what if both of them were like 6 feet tall? I can hardly breath in here...

*Gets out of the bathroom to see a line of people*

Was I in there that long?!

Sometimes...I wonder about myself...

Hanny the coffee bean

Dear Holland: You're Lucky I'm NOT the Minister of Transport

One morning, I woke up to a very special job offer. I decided to accept it and to tell Coffee Bean the good news about my position.

"Well, it looks like I'm the new Minister of Transport for Holland."

"What?! How did that happen?"

"Invader Stu declared himself King of Holland and asked me to be the Minister of Transport."

Hey, anything is possible on the internet, people.

Amid my euphoria of finally having ended my unemployment demise, I began to declare to Coffee Bean all of the wonderful transportation reforms that would be bestowed upon Holland, a country in which I have never even set foot. Seeing as how I am now a politician, I only deem it necessary to pass an obligatory-reform-that-only-serves-to-inconvenience-daily-life, something which members of government excel in doing.

I even have a pathetically good reason to explain such a change: it would reduce bike pollution and bring down the cost of having to fish them out from canals when the locals toss them in the water.

A billion internet points if you can figure out which post Happy Cloud is from.

Cue maniacal laugh

Be sure to head on over to Invading Holland and check out Invader Stu's accident-prone antics as he discovers and learns about the Dutch way of life. You'll wonder why he hasn't been crowned King yet (it might have something to do with his Speculoos addiction).

Barb the French Bean

Dr. Pepper Brownies: Not a Mishap

Surfing on the internet means you will find a lot of interesting things and one of them includes Dr. Pepper brownies.

I came across Dr. Pepper brownies when I saw a post on facebook about Dr. Pepper bbq sauce. My thought was that if there was Dr. Pepper bbq sauce then there must be Dr. Pepper brownies! and so I googled the recipe until I found one good recipe by a really awesome blogger.

Awesome blogger and brownie recipe.

I gathered all the ingredients, which was not from a brownie box and set myself to work. The end result:

Amazing Dr. Pepper brownies!!

Of course, it didn't end there...Frosting was still missing, but not just any frosting....

Dr. Pepper frosting!

So with the help of my roommate, we made a really nice and sweet frosting that the recipe suggested:

Though, I'm not much of a Dr. Pepper fan, I must add that it was one of the most amazing treats I have tried. Even the friends who thought it was an odd thing to do to a brownie could not believe how delicious it turned out to be.

So I recommend that if you have the time, try Dr. Pepper brownies. You will not regret it.

I will probably make some more after I make chocolate soup.

Hanny the coffee bean

Sneak Peek: Halloween Costume Edition

Halloween is really close and I for one cannot wait!

Since my costume requires make-up, I decided I should just try on my whole outfit with the make-up as well. Of course my make-up didn't turn out so great (I need to buy better face paint), but I am very pleased with my costume.

So ladies and gentlemen I am pleased to present this years costume:

That's right! I'm a mime and of course no one else knows (since it won't be going on my FB just yet), but I think I made a great choice.

So what is everyone else going to be for halloween?

Hanny the coffee bean

Love Letters to Everything I Hate

Dear facebook stalkers,

Whenever I get a horny ass message from you guys, I melt. My heart races whenever you guys friend request me and the sole thought that you guys might be masturbating to me makes my heart skip a beat. I love getting the messages where you guys tell me how beautiful I am and that there is no other girl like me. I especially love it when I find out, I wasn't the only girl you sent those messages to. You all had me at "Damn girrrr." I can't wait to talk to you all soon.

The message above says that finding my profile was the "prettiest" thing to happen and that even though people might tell me this a lot, he had a need to tell me that I am a beautiful woman.

I had more messages, but I ended up erasing some of them a while back.

Dear ghost in my room,

I love the way you torture me when I sleep. I love waking up from a strange shake of my bed and not being able to move when I do wake up. You are so funny and adorable when you levitate my clothes while I'm taking pictures of myself. Thank you for the sleepless nights.

If you look to the left of the picture you will see something in the air (looks like clothes), but when i turned around, it wasnt there...

Dear nightmares,

Have I told you how much I love you? I love spending hours and hours of my sleep time being tortured by you. I love how you make me imagine horrible, hideous things that make me wake up screaming. I enjoy our time together while you show me how horrible this world is, how horrible the people in my life are, and how I'll never amount to anything in life. Thank you for all your negativity and torture.

Dear 3 year ex boyfriend,

It has been approximately 1 year and a half since our loving separation. I am sooooo happy that I see you every day of my damn life. I love how when you see me you run away as fast as you can (I'm sorry I can't play hide and seek anymore). Every time I get on the bus to go home, I see you there with your greasy hair soaking the bus seat, how OH SO CUTE! and the fact that we are apparently neighbors, living in the same damn neighborhood gives me such a comfort to know that I am forsaken to see you for the rest of my life ( or until I move). Though with my luck I know I'll get to see your big pores oozing oil face often.

Dear inconsiderate customers,

Thank you for loving me so much and throwing all my nicely folded clothes to the ground. I think about you guys all the time and feel distraught when you aren't acting like animals in my department. It saddens me when your children are not peeing on my floor or running up the escalators that go down. I get butterflies in my stomach whenever I see you all ravaging through the department like if its the last store left on this planet. I love it when you all set your crying gnomes on the counter while I try to answer an important call. Last, but not least it touches me when you all are rude while I try to help.

The following video shows you the animals people turn into while shopping...(not my video)

Dear dumb asses that almost killed me at the Childish Gambino Concert,

I love feeling your sweaty bodies on me, especially when you were trying to push me out of the way when I was the one in front. That one guy with beer in his hand wooed me by spitting on me while he sang a drunk ass song. I especially loved getting trampled by your tall ass dumb asses, it was very romantic. You guys were very much amazing when it came to words, especially when it came to talking about 'bitches and hoes' that attended the concert. My heart sang when you guys started to laugh like hyenas...OH THE SWEET SOUND.

Yours Truly,

Hanny

Dear Miss Ha-Ha!

Recently, I started something I like to call Dear Miss H. For those unaware, I decided about a few days ago to start an advice site, where I can give other people positive advice and not that "Oh forget him, he's a loser" advice that I hate so very much.

Being the type of person that likes to give advice and humor people at the same time, I decided to add a choice to my 'ask me' form, where the person asking me a question gets to tell me if they want a humorous response or serious advice.

Now as much as I love to humor others, I have been getting a lot of forms asking for me to give a humorous response. Thus, I started to think if I'll probably end up being called Dear Miss Ha-Ha instead of Dear Miss H.

Now wouldn't that be interesting...."Hi I'm Dear Miss Ha-Ha and I have a major in Psychology!" -_-

No wonder no one takes me seriously.

-Hanny the coffee bean

Btw: If any of you do have any questions or in need of advice, do consider visiting Dear Miss H

Why Good Beer Should Never Be Wasted

As based on a true story.

Let me answer that question: EWWWWWWW!!!

Barb the French Bean

Coffee and French Bean's Car Search Quest

Readers of Two Beans or Not Two Beans are probably unaware that almost two weeks ago, our blog came very, very close to becoming one Bean short.

Coffee Bean was involved in a car accident. Although she came out rather unscathed, the same cannot be said for her car...which is why she is now on an impossible quest to find an automatic car for under $4,000.

Following a brief weekend in humidity-and-mosquito ridden Miami, she and French Bean drove back to Orlando. The two Beans could have fun hanging out with each other while French Bean temporarily escaped from the grand highlight of McDonald's cheeseburger specials while she met and discovered new people. It was a win-win situation!

Amidst all the partying and beer-drinking, Coffee Bean also had to face the reality that her rental car wasn't going to be hers forever and that she needed a reliable mode of transportation. After doing some internet research and jotting down locations, the Two Beans went off to find THE dream car.

(The names of various car dealerships have been altered to protect their identities.)

Car Dealership #1: Lemons Fo' U

The Two Beans came across this world-class vendor by chance. While on the quest for a different dealership, they spotted Lemons Fo' U located adjacent to the other place. The wooden, hand-written sign announcing the property could not be missed, nor could the metal, barbed-wire fence protecting the vehicular commodities. The owner of Lemons Fo' U made his appearance when he exited his work station of a minuscule hut and approached his clients by walking on a graveled pavement.

The proprietor of said establishment was a well-dressed urbane gentleman sporting a white, sweat-stained wife beater and had a respectable mane of long, flowing dreadlocks. As a sign of his financial success, he had teeth which glistened a golden sheen in the 100 degree F sunlight.







Yes, indeed. Coffee Bean had certainly declared the sum to be $4,000.

The proprietor thought for a moment until he pointed to one of his many exemplary vehicular beauties. After a few seconds of glancing around the place, the Two Beans realized something: the cars which were available were indeed far too nice to be sold for fewer than $4,000. A nearly brand-new red Chevy Malibu?

A revelation came upon them. These cars were probably stolen.

Ergo, the Two Beans did what any sensible car-buying client would have done: they assured their salesman with a diplomatic "we'll come back."

(That translates to "fat chance you'll ever see us again, bub." )


Car Dealership #2: Cheap Korean Kars!

The next location on Coffee Bean's list required the use of Tomtom, the GPS navigator. Once the address was entered into the device, Coffee Bean followed the instructions in a figuratively-blindfolded sense. If Tomtom said to turn left, the car went left. If Tomtom told the car to go straight, it went straight. If Tomtom said to drive to the closest Cartier shop and rob the store at gunpoint...the Two Beans would have probably obeyed him.

Instead, Tomtom let the girls know they had achieved their goal.




Funny thing is that they hadn't. There was absolutely no sign of Cheap Korean Kars! Yes, there was a complex of townhouses on one side of the street and there was a Nissan and even Honda dealership on the other side, but no Cheap Korean Kars!




But Tomtom steadfastly insisted that they had reached their destination. Could Cheap Korean Kars! have been an invisible dealership? Who knows...

Car Dealership #3: Worldly Cars

The Two Beans decided to give Tomtom a second chance by navigating them in the direction of Downtown Orlando. With a promising title like Worldly Cars, the Beans thought that they were going to encounter a car dealership paradise which sold even the odd flying unicorn.

Instead, Tomtom guided them to the wrong part of town.

The really, really wrong part of town.






The one complete with menacing individuals congregating under a bridge.

It became quite obvious to the Two Beans that their quest to find a nice car for under $4,000 was leading to them to a life or death situation.

They called it quits for the day and headed home.

No wonder they couldn't find the damn place.

French Bean and Coffee Bean