Thursday, January 26, 2012

Poker, Anyone?

When I was about 10 years old, my dad taught me how to play poker. I remember asking a whole bunch of questions regarding the game and couldn't quite understand why grown-ups liked playing poker.

Then my dad took out fake monopoly money to play with and that was the day I got hooked.

There wasn't a day I didn't want to play poker, it was exciting and just the thought of winning fake money made me want to play even more.

However, at the age of 18, I had forgotten how to play poker until I saw the movie Casino Royale. There is nothing more sexy than James Bond in a casino or George Clooney robbing from three different casinos. With so many movies based in a casino, how could I forget how to play poker? Especially, when so many of the movies teach you how to play.

Recently, I read about the top 5 casino movies and I absolutely agree with the list. They are also movies worth watching (you might just learn a thing or two).

Anyways, at the age of 18, I went back to playing poker and the more I learned about casino games, the more games I learned to play. One of them being blackjack, which started when I saw the movie 21.

Of course, I didn't have a casino right around the corner. So to feed my addiction, I would play the casino games they have online, but I would continuously lose. Well I gave up on online gambling, until I learned about the strategy articles that the wonderful world wide web offers.

Now with these strategies, I can finally win a game and I can become ruler of the world! Okay, maybe just the champion of a few games, but it does give me an advantage that others may not have.

Not only do they offer the best strategies for gaming online, but you can also learn a few things here and there for when a trip to Las Vegas takes place. Who wouldn't want to win a million dollars? I do for starters, but for now I see myself playing online casino, until I can make my way to Las Vegas.

If that ever happens and I end up winning, I'll buy you all new cars.

New toy cars.

Hanny the coffee bean

Monday, January 23, 2012

Everything is Hunky-Dory

See? That's me being a-okay!

Well, we are well into the twenty-third day of the 2012 and it is only up until now that I came up with something to say.

(To Coffee Bean: I'm sorry if I put you through the responsibility of single-handedly taking care of the blog posts. That was quite rude of me and I'll try to refrain from doing so again.)

It seems that most of my inspiration got zapped the second December 26th rolled into my life, for it was on that day that I saw the very first Weight Watchers commercial in over two and a half months of television ads devoting themselves to spreading holiday joy straight to my if fast-food commercials weren't bad enough.

Seriously, people, that made me go "WTF? You tortured me for two and a half months to gorge on rich, high-calorie foods and NOW that Christmas is over, you want to guilt-trip me into losing weight?" I couldn't even enjoy the last full week of 2011 without thinking "Jenny Craig is right."

In short, I did a personal re-evaluation and set a new target weight loss goal.

I want to lose 75 pounds.

Of which I've only been able to shed 2.4 of them. Whoot.

Something tells me that I may have to join a gym. There is even a gym that is rather close to my home, only a twenty-minute walk away. All of the other gyms require driving, and I prefer to spend twenty minutes walking as opposed to twenty minutes driving. Sounds like the perfect place to go, right?

Except the people in Miami can be a bit odd. I don't know what was going through the owner's mind when they founded this chain of workout areas, but with a name like PORKY'S GYM, the chances of me enrolling there are zero to none.

And, yes, Porky's Gym is a real place. Based on their website's front page, I'd end up looking like a muscle head by the time 2013 rolls in.

What guy wouldn't like to date a lady who had a diminished chest and bigger biceps than he does?

I think I'll go take another walk today followed by a quick shower. I usually find that my best ideas come in the middle of walks and showers.

Barb the French Bean

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Hello, Fake Mr. Nice Guy

I know this blog is usually for shits and giggles, and I am very aware that I sometimes go into an emotional rant, that probably has all my male readers banging their heads against a wall waiting for the return of ninja squirrel.

However, Bare with me... and my dear male readers you can also apply this situation to a woman as well, though I would probably title it The Acting Bitch: Hiding Behind the Nice Act.

A while back I wrote about the asshole phenomenon and how being an asshole seemed to be the way some guys got girls. Well in one of my random conversations with one of my friends, I questioned why a lot of the guys I dated changed through the relationship or after it...Her answer was that they were faking it to get with me, but later showed their true colors.

Then this thought came to mind, guys fake being nice to get with me when in reality they are assholes?! But...why?

Why is it that they change into being nice and follow me around like puppy dogs until they have my attention? and why is it that when I actually give them that attention, they turn into assholes and with one wave of the finger they make the decision of breaking up with me?

Is it selfishness that causes this? bitterness towards women? or just plain immaturity? or maybe just a perception I have? or it might just possibly be me?

I'm not saying that I am great myself, I have hurt others in my younger years, but at the same time I do have a good heart. A heart that seems to care way too much about people and my thought is...why?

Why fake being nice to just be with me? Sure, they might have not been nice at all and might have just used this as a way to win their challenge, but really everyone I've ever dated?? I've gotten the usual "I'm a good guy," "I'm not like every other guy," "I'm the guy that everyone overlooks," type of lines and yet when I believe that this might be true, they turn around and turn into assholes.

Will I ever know what is up? Probably not...They probably are attempting to be like this guy:

But I doubt it.

I hope I eventually break this cycle of dating so many fake Mr. nice guys and genuinely date a nice guy, who will not hire an asshole or turn into one.

Hanny the coffee bean

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Airplane Bathrooms Vs. Coffee Bean

I'm not great at story telling. To me going into too much detail gets a bit tedious for me. So instead I will tell you what my thoughts were while I was waiting to use the airplane bathroom.

If you have ever gone into an airplane bathroom then you know how small it is. If you have never been in an airplane bathroom then let me demonstrate.

That is an airplane bathroom. Small as hell...

Anyways, so on my way to England, I had to be on a plane for about 8 hours and being human and all, I had to use the bathroom.

So as I make it to the bathroom, I look at the little sign that says occupied. I go towards the next bathroom and that pesky little occupied sign was on.

As I waited outside the bathroom door, my mind could not shut up.

I really need to go...damn it how long is this person going to take...

*5 seconds later*

My bladder is going to explode! get out of the bathroom!!!

*stares down occupied signal*

*about 10 minutes...*

WTF?! are you shitting in there?? did you die?! OMG my bladder is going to burst!!!

It's probably an elder...I hope its not that 700 lb guy who kept staring down my food, he was scary..

*a few more minutes*

*Young girl comes out of the bathroom*

WTF?! was she playing with barbies in there?!

*Rushes into bathroom and handles some business*

I hope barbies aren't going to attack me in here...what if the lights turn off and I get bitten by something. Or maybe the airplane falls and all they find is a girl on the toilet...that girl is me...

I don't want to be remembered as the girl on the toilet!! or maybe before the plane falls my knight in shining armor will rescue me from the bathroom, but wait! I don't want him to see me trying to take a shit on the toilet...I rather die as the girl on the toilet. Maybe the hidden rabid barbies will eat me alive before they find a girl on the toilet.

*Gets off toilet and proceeds to pull up pants*

*Some turbulence occurs and something falls down*

Ack! The barbies are attacking me!

*waves arms around in the air frantically*

omg what if it was a roach? maybe they are in cahoots. I knew I hated those damn plastic things, they are secretly working with the roaches to take over the world!

*Stares at a tissue paper that had "attacked"/fallen to the ground*

No one must know how paranoid I am at the moment. Anyone would think I was bonkers...Can you imagine "Hi my name is Hanny, I'm a psychology major who thinks barbies and roaches are in cahoots to take over the world."

*Looks around and flushes toilet*

I wonder what would happen if a snake randomly appeared out of the toilet. Where would it come from? It would be impossible or would it...

*Washes hands*

I wonder how people even dare join the mile high club, especially in this tiny place. I mean leprechauns can do it, but people? really? what if both of them were like 6 feet tall? I can hardly breath in here...

*Gets out of the bathroom to see a line of people*

Was I in there that long?!

Sometimes...I wonder about myself...

Hanny the coffee bean

Friday, January 13, 2012

Thought of the Day: Not Good Enough?

All the posts I have, inspired by my trip to England are still being written, but today I wanted to talk about something else.

Something that has been plaguing my thoughts day in and day out. Something that I wake up to and fall asleep thinking about. These thoughts have now become my new boyfriend in the sense that I cannot stop thinking about it and it is driving me absolutely crazy.

So the thought of today and of a few weeks ago is:

Why when you have something good right in front of you do you insist on getting rid of it?

This question of course has nothing to do with me because I cherish everything good in my life, but on a daily basis I have noticed that people do this a lot and I do not quite understand.

Are we so focused on our past that we do not realize what we have in front of us? Is it that what I may see as something good, they don't see it in the same way?
It can be with anything really, but my thoughts have leaned towards being in a relationship/dating.

I know it seems that often this certain topic seems to appear in my daily posts as if I were obsessed, but truth is that being a psychology major makes me want to investigate the things that do not make sense to me.
But here is another kicker, it will never make sense because we are talking about everyone's perspective on things, upbringing, experiences etc...

So why even think about it? Well my mind was made to think about the thought process of others, which makes sense as to why I chose Psychology in the first place.
Think about it though, have you ever met someone who was just amazing, but has had some shitty luck when it comes to dating? Have you ever had something good in the past, but messed it up?

I want to hear from my readers today.

Why when someone has something good right in front of them, do they mess it up and walk away from it?

Hanny the coffee bean

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Never Share a Room with Grandma

I love my grandmother and though she is an elder, she has a very young spirit, but sometimes my grandmother can be quite wonky.

The time difference between Florida and England is about 5 hours. After going to a pub, my family and friends decided it was time to go home to get some shut eye, but that didn't seem to be the case.

"Hanny wake up! It's 12pm, everyone's awake and probably having breakfast. I already took a shower."

My grandmother had turned the light on and frantically moved around the room. I yawned and still felt very tired, but I sat up. I took a look outside the window still in zombie mode and noticed it was still dark out.

"Grandma...It's dark out"

"Yeah, but I heard that sometimes at noon its dark like that..."

I went towards my purse to get my phone. As I turned on my phone, it read 7:05pm.

"Grandma, it's only about 12 am since its about a 5 hour difference and it's only 7:05pm in Florida."

"How can it be, I heard people walking around."

"Go see if mom is awake."

My grandmother left the room only for her to come back two minutes later.

"She asked why I just woke her up."

"So everyone seems to be sleeping then...So basically you woke up an hour later after you had fallen asleep only to take a shower and wake half of everyone up at midnight?"

"I guess so..."

My grandma and I had a good laugh...

You gotta love time differences.

-Hanny the coffee bean