Times When "Never Say 'Never'" Backfired in My Face

I have not been feeling rather happy with myself as of late. I still have not met my goals of finishing my first novel, of getting down to a healthy, correct weight and of going back to university to get my Masters degree. I thus expressed my discontent through the following sentences:

"I will never finish my book and get it published. What I've written is crap, anyway."

"I will never be thin, so I don't even know why I bother trying anymore."

"I will never get into Trinity College and be able to pay off my studies. I can kiss that dream good-bye."

This mentality is not the best way to start off the year, especially when I have yet to even finish trying to accomplish said goals.

As much as this cliché sounds cheesy, there is some karmic truth behind the reasoning of unwittingly negating a possible occurrence in your life. Reflecting on my own experiences, I can only help but smile on how certain pessimistic declarations of mine later proved to be unfounded and trumped.

1) "I'll never get a chihuahua."

To me, chihuahuas represented the absolute bane of canine companions. They're small, have huge bug-eyes, over-sized bat ears and have got an annoying high-pitched yip. I thought they were little atrocious beasts that only privileged socialites flaunted like accessories.

I am not a privileged socialite, so chihuahuas were certainly not for me.

Then, in some odd turn in life, my family was presented with the opportunity to adopt a dog, which happened to be a chihuahua. I drew a sharp intake of breath before contemplating what would be my definite answer. The moment I saw my dog, all previous chihuahua-based prejudices vanished on the spot.

"I'll never get a chihuahua" became "I am now totally obsessed with chihuahuas, and if you say anything negative about them, I'll haunt you and poke you repeatedly with a stick."

2) "I could never be a teacher."

I uttered this sentence several years ago to a former art teacher after I had asked him for advice on how to manage children and why he still continued doing his profession.

"If you are going to get into teaching, that means you have really have to like kids, because you certainly don't do this job for the money."

He was right, by the way. Only I could not fathom that I would one day find myself doing said profession in France.

Which brings me to my last point:

3) "I'll never visit Europe."

I come from a financially humble family that often struggled to make ends meet. While we were never destitute (or at least my parents never gave me the impression of being destitute), voyages and family vacations were quite rare when I was growing up in Florida. I would get a kick simply by going to the beach or, with any luck, a two-day stay in Disney World.

Even as a child, I dreamt of one day taking an airplane across the globe and seeing the historic architecture, paintings, and sites from other lands. My parents also indulged my curiosity by purchasing books and watching re-runs of Rick Steve's travels on PBS.

When I was fourteen, I got my hopes up when my parents announced that the following year, after my fifteenth birthday, we would take a tour of Europe. Several months passed. So did the years. My hope waned.

Europe was always out of reach for me and by the time I was eighteen, I was fully convinced that I would never set foot on the continent.

Then I saved money, turned 21, and took my first trip to France. Seeing the Eiffel Tower in person broke me and I manifested sheer joy through the tears I shed.

I also learned that being an emotional mess is a sure-fire way to deter and scare off any vendors peddling jingling Eiffel Tower key chains.

Ever since that fateful trip, not only have I returned to France numerous times, I have also manage to venture into Italy, Spain, Ireland, Northern Ireland, England (well, London and Oxford), and the Netherlands.

In short, with the right methods and motivation, life has proved me wrong about my "never" statements. I shouldn't be such a pessimist and just carry on with each day at a time.



Oh, before I finish this post, there is one more statement that I will indulge myself in declaring.

*ahem*

I will certainly never marry

Benedict Cumberbatch,

Gaspard Ulliel,

or Domhnall Gleeson.

*crosses arms against chest, waits patiently*

Barb the French Bean.

Since I Lost My Sense of Humor...

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life and may I just add that life is indeed too short. As the years pass, the older I am getting; the older I am getting, the less I want to be in school.


I never thought of the importance of school, never really cared much for it. Sure in high school, I was an honor roll student with honor classes, college courses, and a yearbook editor. I had so much promise for my future, but once I got into college, I didn't know where I was headed. It was always clear to me that I wanted to major in Psychology. I dreamt with the idea of helping others with their problems; I wasn't doing it for the money, but for love of people.


This ardure to help others was what kept me motivated to reach my goals, which at the time was to become a psychologist. I did, however, have other passions in life, but one of them stood out the most. The very thing I wanted to do since the age of 10 and that was to be in broadway. As a child I would spend my time making up songs and putting acts in front of the adults and this passion of mine stayed with me until the beginning of college.


I had taken acting classes, singing classes, guitar classes and dance classes, I was for sure in love with the idea of being in broadway. Then when I started my first year in college, that dream fell apart. I had taken acting classes in college, only to get critized about my weak performance...when all this time I thought I was good at what I did.


From then on I concentrated on my general studies, but I would also take other courses that had nothing to do with my major. Well fast forward to three years later and I finally finished what should have been my two year degree. Of course in my mind that didn't matter much, as long as I was moving away and was going to finally finish my other two years....So I thought.


I haven't finished yet, which has made me feel old in all possible ways. Yes, there are others who have not finished like me, but I've always been so determined with life. I always had an idea that by age 24, I would have my masters and yet that will not be happening. Everything I had ever planned for me changed and to make things worse, I want to be a magazine editor.


How on earth can I, if my commas and semicolons are in all the wrong places.... How can I, if my sentences are all jumbled up and my sense of humor and creativity have left me? I see everyone around me accomplishing things that I have so wanted in my life and yet here I am writing in a blog that most don't even read anyways.


Though, I try to keep positive about my success, it makes me wonder how others have reached that success.


So my fellow readers, how on earth did you get to the place you are in now? how did you reach your goals? What challenges did you have to face to get to the place you are in now?


Sorry for the lack of pictures and humor, I promise I'll have something better up....eventually.


Hanny the coffee bean