People Watching is Similar to Watching The Discovery Channel: Part One

If you have ever sat down observing the people around you, then you know you can learn a lot from them. Especially, since the actions of some people are quite humorous. In advance, let me just say that I am not trying to make fun or ridicule those who actually act like this, but you have to admit from the observers view, it is quite funny.

For those who are unaware, The Discovery Channel shows a range of informative shows. Back when I was younger (the old school Discovery Channel) they used to show animal documentaries, which you can now see in one of the Discovery Channels network called Animal Planet.

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Scene #1

Deep in the wilderness of the Orange grasslands (Mall in Florida), creatures of the wild (people) assemble around their prey (shopping stores) in hopes to fill their stomachs (car trunk) full of pabulum (clothes, accessories, etc..). These creatures are not to be startled as they might attack you, thinking you are prey. I cautiously sit in a corner camouflaged in my best gear to not attract attention and quietly I observe the creatures of the wild.

1) The Ferocious Panthera Onca (Jaguar)
A.K.A. the bitches that will rip your eyes out if you don't hand over the $40 Gucci bag they have been eyeing since they got there.

I observe the Ferocious Panthera as she moves graciously towards her prey, her eyes full of hunger. She gets closer to her prey, trying not to draw attention to herself. She's closing in on her target, but WAIT! What is THIS?!  Another creature is closing in on her target and...

The Ferocious Panthera strikes again and takes control. Leaving her enemy wounded and taking her prey in hand.


Scene #2

Making way into Savannah, Africa (the Florida park two minutes away from my apartment) I immediately hear braying. As I approach my destination, the braying becomes louder to my fragile ears. Slowly without making any harsh moves, I take my place at a nearby tree (bench) where I see the braying creatures.

2) Striped Equidae (Zebra)
A.K.A The male that will fuck you up if you touch his woman or even glace at her.

I examine the individuals that are screaming at the top of their lungs, both of the male species. A female stands amongst them, horror stamped on her face. As the males begin to fight, the female screeches, but the males continue their battle. It is not clear as to what they are fighting about, but noting the females stance and the tears running down her face, something tells me she had something to do with it.

As you can see, the wild (the world) is full of vicious creatures (people) that will tear each other apart (literally) to get what they want (a woman, a Gucci bag etc...). This has been quite an eventful and educational experience (laughing my head off at all the bastards), but for now I must end the journey here (unless you want to hear about the doughnut guy).

Thank you for watching The Discovery Channel (Now Animal Planet) / (Hanny TV).

-Hanny the coffee bean