Monday, October 25, 2010

Well, I Caved in and Did It.

I'm 23 years old and I've given up hope on finding the elusive Mr. Right, A.K.A. Prince Charming. I am fairly convinced that the Disney Prince Charming that was hammered into my brain as a little girl is really just a big farce that has completely distorted my perception of what I should look for in a man.

I'm not saying I haven't encountered my fair share of men. I've met plenty of Mr. Oh-So-Wrongs, Mr. HELL NOs, Mr. Way Out of My Leagues and Mr. Ha-Ha, Yeah Rights. And let's not forget Loser Ex-Boyfriend (A.K.A. Mr. What-The-Hell-Were-You-Thinking, Moron?).

I've been told several times that I shouldn't look for love. Love will come to me. I shouldn't waste my time searching for the Right One. The Almighty and Most Sacred Right One will just magically appear before my eyes when I least expect him to.

Whatever. I'm sick of that bullshit. I caved in and signed up for a dating website. It was a bit bizarre having to write a profile for myself, and in French, no less.

I'm still a bit wary about the whole experience, but we'll see how that goes...

Barb the French Bean


  1. That's how I met BF, best man I've ever been with in my life. We are 6 years strong on Thursday.

    You'll have to wade through some of the crap first, as always. Be weary of the "headshot only" photos, or the ones that appear to be scanned actual photographs (you KNOW that shizz is out of date).

    Ask lots of questions on chat/IM first, trust your gut, and good luck my dear!!

  2. Oh, honey - you are WAY too young and cute to be so cynical about dating. You have to give it another decade, like me. You've still got plenty of options. By the time you are my age, all the single ones are DEFINITELY single for a reason. :)

  3. Disney princes are all douchebags/slightly retarded. Try watching all those movies after you read what The Gloss says about those guys! I did that with a friend a couple weekends ago (she has toddlers, we totally had an excuse.)

    We've all been in the same boat, what a frustrating thing, eh?

    I joined OK Cupid when I was bored one day because of the quizzes. I didn't take it seriously at all, and then I met someone great! And if anything, incoming messages from dating sites can be quite amusing.

    Good luck <3

  4. oh you most certainly still believe in Mr.Right!! its impossible not to...once we get into those disney movies, it remains for life..ha! 23 is soooo young...i think you should just have fun with mr.wrong/mr.right.

  5. Not to be harsh, but you're giving up after only one failed relationship? My first thought is to ask what the heck your ex said/did to you now to put you in such a state of mind, because this is not the French Bean I know.

    And yes, I consider hook-up sites giving up. It's what people do when they feel desperate, but really just don't want to try any more. Either of these states isn't to bad on its own, but please don't mix them together. :/ It's mentally unhealthy.

    Just give the universe another chance. Don't focus on love, just forget the stupid ex and enjoy being in France. Didn't you have other goals? Do you really want to forget them in favor of playing around with guys who aren't suited to you? Trust me, when you meet the elusive Mr Right, you'll know, and nothing will be able to stop you. Until then, why angst? Life is way too short for that.

    Ganbatte! <3

  6. Sometimes I forget that you are only 23. So young, so free, so uber cool.

    Look at FRANCE! You're in France!

    When I was 23, I was newly married, counting down the days until I could have my first baby. You see where I am now. ;)

    You do WHATEVER the heck it is you want. Sign up for a dating site..or not. The choice is YOURS.

    And therein lies the beauty of it all!

    You make me smile.


  7. Hoo, boy...

    Eden and Stephanie: Thanks. I'm going to need all the luck I can get. :-P

    Tricia: When you put it that way, I guess I will have to give it a second chance. :-)

    Amy: Yes, I have been noticing that about the messages. I suppose one slight reason for signing up was to try it out. --.--"

    Pancake: I know, right? There's no escaping the Prince Charming keeps hope alive.

    Zora: My dear, it's not just what my Ex said to me (as if that weren't traumatizing enough; I'll discuss it with you later). I've been seeing girls from my graduating class getting married/having kids. This past Saturday, another girl got married.

    Meanwhile, while being cooped up all week-end alone with a bad cough and having a scale scare, I started thinking to myself "F*ck, why can't I have that as well?" And, frankly I'm seriously beginning to wonder if there is a guy with whom I am compatible. I look at you and your BF and am amazed as to how perfect you both are for each other.

    Meh. I'll give Prince Charming a second chance...provided he doesn't have a gay fashion sense. :-P

    And don't worry: I have my goals in mind. I'm actually getting ready to head out to achieve some goal-oriented activities (enrolling for the very scary TEF).

    Thanks for the reminder, my friend. I sometimes forget that life is MUCH too short to live it with a frown. And I really can't express how grateful I am to have you as a cattle-prod, erm, friend who sets me straight. ;-)


    Kate: Thanks again, my dear.

    I've decided to see what happens with each day that I live. The choices I make each day may or may not affect what happens to me in the future. ^.^

    -Barb the French Bean

  8. I met my soon to be wife through a sort of dating app for facebook so I can't complain :p

  9. Zora - just have to say that I didn't use Lavalife as a "hook up site" and wanted to clarify. We were both looking to date and that is what we did. No whoring around.

    There is a difference, depending on what category(ies) you select, and as the person signing up, you choose what you are looking for.

    I didn't settle, neither did he. I didn't slut around, neither did he. It's what you choose to make it. And I was 24, and my BF is the best man I have ever met in my life. We're 6 years strong.

    So you are totally entitled to feel the way you do and that the sites are somehow "giving up" or for "desperate" people, but I take offense, as I would never have met my BF otherwise.

    I was tired of my small town bar scene and having no luck otherwise. I took my time and it took a while to find the prince among the frogs. But please don't paint us "online love" finders with the same brush of apathetic desperates.

    It gives me a sad face. And who wants a sad face? lol.

  10. Stu: Really? That's pretty cool!

    Stephanie: I'm almost sure that Zora (who knows me IRL) was specifically chiding yours truly for "giving up."

    Like you said, you were careful while sifting through the all the frogs and you eventually found you BF. It only gives me hope that it can work for me as well. ^.^

    And no sad faces!!!

    -Barb the French Bean

  11. Goodluck! I've heard lots of horror stories about dating sites. My friend's cousin was matched with her BROTHER on one site. LOL.

    PS: I've been so busy I've failed to keep up with your blog as much as I'd like to have I enjoyed reading a few of your recent posts today gave me a good laugh. I'll try to stop by more frequently! :)


Apparently, leaving comments on this blog is a hit-or-miss game of Russian roulette: you are either lucky and can comment away, or you are required to log in when the settings are CLEARLY set to allow trouble-free commenting (sorry 'bout that, folks). If anything, the Facebook page is always a viable option. :) -Barb