This Is What I Do When I Am Bored

I tend to waste many, many hours of my precious life browsing the internet, but even that becomes tedious. The appeal of sitting in front of a lifeless computer screen eventually gets to me and I find myself searching for other means of passing the time.

If I do not make the crucial decision to actually change out of my pajamas and head out into the world, I will often limit my day to just taking photographs.

I captured this image while goofing off in front of the computer, ironically enough.

I am mesmerized with the fact that the staring wide-eyed girl with unkempt hair is actually me.

More often than not, I gaze upon my reflection in agony and scrutinize all of the imperfections that haunt my being. I do not have a flat stomach. My thighs have difficulty entering into most French trousers. I dislike my flabby upper arms and strategically hide them from sight with sleeves and cardigans.

The other day, I had an acquaintance ask me, with some surprise, "How is it possible that a very pretty girl such as yourself be single?"

All I could do was smile, shrug and say "I don't know."

But in my mind, I was very quick to criticize my body and place all the blame on it for being the reason as to why I am still single.

Yet I look back on my picture. For once, I regard my face and think that I actually do look nice. Dare I believe that I really am a pretty girl? I have to remember that the outer appearance is not all there is to me.

I am witty (if not a little sarcastic). I am caring. I love to read books. I love to take long walks in the park. I love going out for coffee with friends. I take pleasure in eating warm French bread with some butter on it. I love talking to others in a one-on-one scenario. I am quick to offer a sympathetic ear to a friend who needs one.

I love seeing rogue drops of rain glisten upon their leaf cradles after they have impishly fallen from the heavens. I love the miraculous imprint of a vanishing sunset.

When will I meet the man who can appreciate those aspects about me and will be more vividly alert to grasp all of the positive characteristics that I woefully neglect when blinded by my faults?

It certainly won't happen today. I am sure of that.

But it will happen. Someday. I just have to be patient and continue to grow and not be so self-critical.

So, the goldilocked flying diaper-boy can just stick his arrows up his behind. I'm off to work and I am facing a bus strike today. I've got other cats to whip, erm, bigger fish to fry!

Barb the French Bean