If you have read this post then you are quite aware that I have a sleeping problem. Not only that, but my drawings come out looking like a half rabbit half dinosaur on crack. So as a way to cure my sleeping problem, I came up with unconventional ways to cure my insomnia.
Note: I am not responsible for any broken windows or complaints.
2) Skinny Dipping
If you have a pool, why not? If your neighbor has a pool, why not? If your neighborhood has a public pool, why not? Sure you might get in trouble for skinny dipping in other people's pool, but that is what might actually cure the insomnia! scaring yourself half to death by being daring and skinny dipping without getting caught. It will cause major adrenaline to the point where you will feel tired after 10 minutes of extreme adrenaline.
Note: I am not in any way responsible for the trouble you might get into. So please do not call me from jail saying it is my fault. Also I am no doctor, so the adrenaline thing may or may not be true.
3) Eat your way to sleep
Note: I am not responsible for any gain of weight or illnesses that you may or may not get from eating late at night.
4) YOGA...at night
I know workouts are supposed to be for the morning and not before you go to sleep, but seeing as I cannot sleep, why not? maybe it will wear me out so much that I will want to lay in bed and eventually fall asleep. Any workout could do, but Yoga seems to be more tiring (at least when I did it, I could not move).
Note: Yoga requires you to do some pretzel moves, so if you get stuck in a certain position, it is not my fault.
5) Tom Cruise Dance
Remember the movie 'Risky Business'? well if you have never seen the movie, you might actually enjoy the moves Tom Cruise does. It can also get you tired enough to make you want to sleep.
If none of the above is getting you tired enough, then get a trampoline and JUMP! The more you jump the tired you will get.
Note: If you fall, break a bone, break the trampoline, or you jump high enough that you'll end up on the moon...remember it is not my fault.
7) Pay someone to sing
If you are not in the mood to feel like a pretzel, break a leg, look like an idiot dancing in just a shirt, feel fat, throw balls in the air like a moron, or risk getting your good stuff exposed, then pay someone to sing you to sleep. Why not? I mean you tried everything else and singing is always nice.
Note: If you get a creepy guy or some psychotic lady to sing to you, it is not my responsibility.
8) Pass the whiskey
If it all fails, just go drink whiskey.
Note: I am not responsible for throwing up, liver malfunction, and anything else that can go wrong from being drunk.
Hanny the coffee bean