Thursday, August 19, 2010

Tips for Meeting New Fictional People

Hi. My name is Barb and I have a problem: I'm an introvert who has difficulty meeting new people.

There. I said it.

I'm tired of being ostracized as a freak by the extrovert community that spends days going out to clubs, bars, rampant orgies and tupperware parties, yet I cannot inherently alter my dislike for shunning these places and events.

This has to change. I've been attending monthly meetings of the Meet New Fictional People Group who may give me some truly life-changing perspectives about how I should go about with my issue. I need to realize that people simply won't come to me; I'm the one who has to be active. As a life-long introvert, this understandably does not come naturally to me, so I've needed to resort to the suggestions given by the Meet New Fictional People Group.

1. The Box Trap

Lure the unsuspecting extrovert with a set of items that spark their interest. Then, once they are under The Box Trap's area, pull the cord to initiate their capture!

2. The Cardboard Sign

Stand at the corner of a busy intersection and, rather than asking for money, ask for companionship.

3. The Conga line

Create the habit of carrying a boombox with a CD of Conga music. Wait for crowd to form into dancing single-file line. Once trapped in the line, nonchalantly start a conversation with the person in front of you.

Note: You may or may not always get someone who is mentally stable.

4. Get a job in another city

Sometimes we just need a change 0f scenery. I was thinking of applying to become a Radio City Rockette in New York City. (I have a thing for glittery costumes and kicking high, so it would be an ideal job.)

5. The Last Resort

If all else fails, just go out and do something daring. If you aren't willing to do something daring by yourself, suck it up and do it with a trusted friend (assuming you have one of those).

The level of what constutites as "daring" is up to you. Mine would be clubbing. And drinking. In public. With people I don't know.

This is how I imagine it would look like:

Barb the French Bean


  1. I know what you mean. :) While not introverted per se (I do like to opine about various topics, if given a second or two), I'm not a social butterfly.

    One thing about extroverts--they LOVE an audience! All you gotta do is ask them one key question (usually about themselves), and you're off to the races! With all their gabbing and gesticulations, and with all your head nodding and hmm hmm's, you'll look like an extrovert in no time. :)

  2. lol love it and totaly feel ya

    im a near total hermit

    i was forced into socializing whilst visiting the boys and although i dreaded the thought each time i ended up surviving it hell usually enjoyed myself too

    decided i should socialize more now im back home

    course iv been home near a week and so far not done anything about it yet

  3. Karen: Thanks for the tips! :-D

    Widow: Maybe you should come with me to the meetings of the Meet New Fictional People Group. It may help.

    -French Bean

  4. Meh, clubbing and drinking are overrated anyway. Go to meetings of organizations about things that you might like where you're forced to talk, that might work.

  5. Oh I know how you feel here. Although I made myself a goal! The first week of school I'm going to speak to ten new people I've never spoken to before. I like challenges, so setting goals usually helps. Hopefully it does here, too. *Crosses fingers*

  6. can only come to the meeting if i can hide under a sheet, in a corner behind a plant or under the table

  7. Random Rambler: Ha. In a couple of months, I'll have a job in which I'll do nothing but talk.

    Delphine: I'll be crossing my fingers for you, too.

    Widow: Fine. *drags blanket-covered Widow to meeting*

  8. Some how I see idea number one leading to a SWAT team beating down your door one evening.

  9. I am convinced that if I die and go to hell, there will be lots and lots of cocktail parties where I'm required to make delightful conversation with strangers. There will also be volleyball.


Apparently, leaving comments on this blog is a hit-or-miss game of Russian roulette: you are either lucky and can comment away, or you are required to log in when the settings are CLEARLY set to allow trouble-free commenting (sorry 'bout that, folks). If anything, the Facebook page is always a viable option. :) -Barb