The Bus Wants Me to Go Deaf

Everyday, whether it is in the morning or at night, I try to walk from 45 minutes to one full hour. This activity comes from the desires to shed a few pounds, to improve my overall mental well-being and to get me out of the house. Yet I must walk at certain times of the day.

If it is during the morning, I have to do it no later than 6:15; by 7:15, the day becomes unpleasantly warm and muggy. To walk during the day would be absolutely crazy. I fear melting on sidewalk and 1st degree burns on my skin. If it is at night, I should wait until 7:20, when the sun starts to go down.

I also follow a specific plan. Please take a moment to study the map below:

As you can see, my house is located in proximity to a school. Using the stop sign as a marker, I do 6 to 8 counterclockwise laps around this school. Each lap takes between 7 to 9 minutes, depending on my speed. To help keep me motivated, I carry a refreshing bottle of cold water while I jam to upbeat music on my MP3.



Even though I find it challenging to wake up in time, I prefer to walk in the mornings. I cross paths with the same friendly elderly lady. No one who owns a dog in my town likes to take it out this early (a major plus since I have a strong aversion to large dogs). My favorite part is watching the sun rise across the firmament. One hour of steady marching energizes me for the rest of the day. As I walk in time to my music, I have a sense of empowerment and felicity, a veritable natural high.

Yet something remains unavoidable and that is extraneous noise. I conciously try to keep the music's volume at a reasonably healthy level, yet every couple of laps or so, my thumb aims at the round dial and gently turns it clockwise to increase the sound. This happens when I reach the busy intersection where the bus stop is located. The cars (yes, even at 6:00 a.m.) drown the music that is already thumping against my eardrums.

The Bus is the worst culprit. Despite arriving every once in a blue, it always manages to coincidentally come to a squealing halt the second I turn the corner near the stop. The Bus screeches in agony at the thought of collecting a handful of passengers from my neighborhood.

*thumb rapidly turns the dial*

*music becomes progressively louder and louder*

Today, by the way, happens to be "Take Public Transport to Work" day. Ha, ha, ha...take that, Bus.

I simply despise being taken out of my "comfort zone," and that includes the level of music. Usually, the rest of my walk goes uninterrupted. My white sneakers strike against the sidewalk in cadence. My arms punch in a shifting motion. My ponytail swings with each step. I sometimes feel the urge to dispel sudden bursts of energy by trotting in time to a song. My pulse quickens. So does my breath. My lungs inhale. Exhale. My whole body accords with the motion I feel in my heart. No one can bottle and sell a sensation like that.

After a couple of laps, I once again come across another occasion that puts my auditive health in peril: the Garbage Truck. A school collects a lot of refuse. I realize that the Garbage Truck executes its necessary duty, but it carries out this function with as much noise as possible. Just after passing next to the busy street of the Bus, its partner-in-crime plots to silence my music.

I can't help it. I seek the circular dial like a deranged addict. I'm sure that one of these days, my MP3 will develop a warning level for me:

I figure that at this rate, 1 hour per day x 365 = deafness in under a year...

Is it a conspiracy? Are these large vehicles intentionally trying to impede me from continuing my exercise regimen? Do they expect me to give up? If it is, then I will not let them have their ways. I shall be the one who triumphs!

Barb the French Bean

Disclaimer: I obviously did not compose the lyrics to the songs mentioned in this post. Please don't sue my behind.