Monday, July 5, 2010


First, my calves went on strike. Now, it's my right ankle.

Saturday morning, as I was heading out the door, my right foot stepped on the "Welcome" mat and unbalanced to the left. The sudden pain of all my weight crushing down on my ankle made me tear.

The pain itself wasn't as bad as it seemed, but I think that what caused hot salty drops to fall from my eyes was the fact that my legs were already giving me a heck of a lot of trouble. I got over my tantrum and drove to the boy I'm tutoring in French's house. Later on, I met up with Coffee Bean and we walked a good three hours around the mall.

My calves didn't hurt so much, nor did my ankle. But by the end of the night, it had enlarged into a bump that was the size of Alaska.
Thankfully, I can still walk normally.

I had been wondering if all of these bodily injuries were just an unfortunate coincidence. This morning, however, I now believe that something bigger is at stake. Call me crazy, but I suspect that the factor behind all of my misfortunes is the Fat in my body.

You see, the Fat that has comfortably resided in some rather unsightly areas now feels threatened by the sudden increase of physical activity. It is alarmed by the rate at which it is slowly disappearing from my being and fears eternal banishment from my thighs, behind and upper arms. So, in an effort to retain its idle status quo, it has become the ringleader of a bodily strike that will prevent me from losing weight. The Fat has recruited the calves and the ankle as its cronies.

Screw you, Fat. You're not gonna win this time. I'm getting rid of you if its the last thing I do.

Barb the French Bean


  1. I hadn't thought of this but now you mention it I see my fat has been against me too!

  2. I tell you, it's a conspiracy!

    -French Bean

  3. I gotta comment on the ankle bit- quite awhile ago I tripped while walking up bleachers and got one ankle caught between two steps and the other got slammed and dragged along the wood part of the steps. The slammed ankle is still currently larger than it should be in the spot I hit it, and my whole damn ankle still hurts when touched.

    I feel your pain.

  4. That dam fat. Mine is just the same. I'm getting a bit scared of it actually and sleep with one eye open.

  5. Sotepop: yes. You feel my pain quite literally. :-P (I'm sorry to hear about that.)

    Stu: It shouldn't be you who sleeps with one eye should be the fat! >:-)

    -French Bean


Apparently, leaving comments on this blog is a hit-or-miss game of Russian roulette: you are either lucky and can comment away, or you are required to log in when the settings are CLEARLY set to allow trouble-free commenting (sorry 'bout that, folks). If anything, the Facebook page is always a viable option. :) -Barb