Friday, July 30, 2010

Pickled Pineapple

So far in my quest to lose 40 kilos (88 pounds) be hotter than Shakira, my mother has all too eagerly offered me another one of her dieting gems. Her latest suggestion to aid me in the process of burning weight is to eat a piece of pineapple soaked in vinegar.

Yes. You read that correctly.

This advice comes from one of her co-workers. As she reasoned, pineapple has diurectic properties and vinegar impedes fat from building in your body.

I don't know how true that is, or where the scientific proof is to back her claims, but I can tell you that if pickled pineapple doesn't kill your appetite, NOTHING will.

This isn't the first time my dear mother has encouraged me to try some crazy dieting sh*t. I remember that when I was younger, she made me imbibe a concoction of boiled orange zest right before lunchtime. It was supposed to help me burn fat. All I recall from it was a pungent bitter taste that comes from unsugared orange peel. This lasted for a good three months or so.




Why would she impose something so ridiculous on me? Because she saw it during a morning talk show and thought it was a good idea.

Lunch, however, was still served in ridiculously large portions. Orange zest water could not possibly shield my body from that.

I'm older now. I prepare my own meals. I control what I eat.

So why would I still try the pickled pineapple? Partly because I'm desperate to try anything, but mostly to stop her from nagging me every day with the question "did you eat some pineapple today?"

Yes, Mother, I've eaten the pineapple. Now please lay off of me. I need to quit killing my poor taste buds.
Barb the French Bean

6 comments:

  1. I know people swear by apple cider vinegar. I lost lots of weight using it, but also only ate 700 calories a day, so its pretty hard to work out if it was just the self punishment or the vinegar..

    http://whatkittybought.blogspot.com/

    ps. I reckon you are hotter than shakira

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  2. Love dodgy diet advice. My friends do a three day diet where you eat wierd things like beetroot, peanut butter and cups of ice cream. Allegedly the combinations cause you to burn more fat.

    There are drugs that will cause you to lose weight but most never get to the market because they tend to have heart side effects.

    In the UK we can buy Alli but I hear that only works if you have a pretty high fat diet.

    I have heard that taking chilli capsules works to some extent because the spiceyness increases metabolism. Who knows if thats true but at least with capsules you won't taste it. Heard the same about ginger.

    I think the diet, exercise and willpower combo is the most sucessful. I'm addicted to watching the biggest loser just to see how they do.

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  3. Kitty: Thanks very much for the compliment, but trust me. I'm not.

    Give me a few months and then I can say it. ^.^

    Mrs Midnite: Yeah, we lose weight by eating less and moving more. MadTV made a good example of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKs0oEIVOck


    Alli is also available in the U.S. (and more recently in France), but I'm always wary about pills. I just want an overall change in lifestyle. ^.^

    (I'm also a Biggest Loser fan myself. I only wish I had the right equipment and a gym membership.)

    -French Bean

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  4. Urgh. Never drink iced tea after eating pineapple. It taste bitter -.-

    I took this pills once, and yes, it made me lose my appetite and all. But god, the effects. I have to list them out.

    1. I couldn't sleep. I had to like , roll in bed for 4 hours to get 2 hours of sleep.

    2. Skin got extremely dry. Like, ick.

    3. My big toe on my right foot got a twitch that spread to my leg. And apparently, I twitched a lot in my sleep.

    4. Throat got dry. To the point where I was drinking water all the time.

    5.I literally got goosebumps all over my body. For no reason.

    I stopped after a monthish and few pounds loss.

    But after my swimming and throat getting ick at the taste of oil in food and my love of fruits, I managed to lose about 24 pounds so far. Leaving about 64 more to go.

    ReplyDelete
  5. New Diet Taps into Pioneering Plan to Help Dieters Get Rid Of 23 Pounds in Just 21 Days!

    ReplyDelete

Apparently, leaving comments on this blog is a hit-or-miss game of Russian roulette: you are either lucky and can comment away, or you are required to log in when the settings are CLEARLY set to allow trouble-free commenting (sorry 'bout that, folks). If anything, the Facebook page is always a viable option. :) -Barb