Monday, July 12, 2010

Copulating Snails and a Discarded Condom

[Based on your level of maturity, this post may or may not be quite silly indeed.]

I sometimes encounter the strangest things as I take my walks around the school. For the most part, these little promenades go without much excitement. I see the same things as I take each lap. The grass, the cracks in the sidewalk, even a discarded black cardboard cup from Burger King that advertised the latest film of a notorious vampire/werewolf emotional tug-of-war printed in a distinctive large white script.
Last night, however, I saw two things that I did not expect.


And this:

It took me a few seconds to realize what I had just seen.
I wonder who would have left a used condom near an elementary school. I mean, I know school is out for the summer, but kids still live in the vicinity of said school. I also wonder to whom it seemed like a good idea to need a condom at that particular location. "Oh, a school! Kewl! I always wanted to bang somebody against the metal fence surrounding an elementary school! That's so hot!"

Then again, its plausible to assume that said condom was cast off by the overly-passionate snails that I had just passed. I mean, those were the two creatures I had seen in proximity that clearly needed some protection.

Who am I to judge the despicable litterbug habits of two horny escargots?

Anyway, after seeing these two gastropods getting it on, the intrinsic human curiousity of how things do it urged me to find out more about their mating habits. After some internet research, I learned that certain species of snails are hermaphrodites that transfer spermatazoa through the right side of their heads when two of them hook up. This means that BOTH of them play the male and female roles.

...And I thought the male seahorse had it bad. That's really messed up, people.

I'm now scared of taking more walks.

Barb the French Bean


  1. ROFLMAO! That is messed up about the snails. You weren't kidding when you said the post was going to be weird, but I love it! awesome ^^

    -Coffee Bean

  2. You can't imagine my relief when I read this.
    When I first saw the post title, I thought "How could she possibly know about that?"

    You don't want to know.

  3. Hmm you should have brought the snail home and if it had snail babies youd know that it hadnt used the condom!

  4. Don't you love it?? Snails are so weird. I remember the day I learned about it I was pretty traumatized too. Did you know sometimes one of the snails will chew off the other one's...head-member (for lack of better word)?

  5. Legacy: I'll take your word for it...

    Madbeanman: Hm. Perhaps I should have done that. Although if I had adopted them as my pets, I might suddenly be stuck as the grandmother of hundreds of snailettes.

    Marine: o_O"

    Now that is even *more* messed up!

    -French Bean

  6. Maybe the snails thought it was a balloon...

    Female Snail:Hey a balloon! Let's fill it with air.
    Male Snail: How about Sex?
    Female Snail: Okay...

    Then you walked by inconveniently

  7. I feel bad for the snails. You walked by during their intimate time, and then posted about it to the world!


Apparently, leaving comments on this blog is a hit-or-miss game of Russian roulette: you are either lucky and can comment away, or you are required to log in when the settings are CLEARLY set to allow trouble-free commenting (sorry 'bout that, folks). If anything, the Facebook page is always a viable option. :) -Barb