Things You Can Learn from Our Blog

As I sat bored in my room one rainy day, I decided to go back on everything Barb and I have ever written and realized that we have written a few things worth learning.

1. Everything you need to know about Cuban and French Coffee.

2. Things don't turn out the way we hope...They turn out to be better than we hoped for.

3. Some retail jobs judge you by appearance.

4. We sometimes can't control our urges (wants).

5. The French are not arrogant, rude people and do not eat snails everyday.

6. Some people are known for musturbating.

7. Blogging is a great outlet for people.

8. Sometimes we have to stop worrying in life.

9. Some snails are hermaphrodites.

10. Sometimes the heart and brain do not agree.

11. You can get over an ex-boyfriend using the five stages.

12. Google gives out the best ideas ever.

13. Some video games take control of your life.

14. No matter how hard some things may seem, friendship makes things better.

15. How to meet people.

16. How to cure insomnia.

17. No matter what we do, we always must look our best.

18. People are similar to animals.

19. Facebook has taken over the world.

20. Places in France you can find a bathroom.

21. Sometimes love/like does come your way (even if you thought it never would)

22. Dating sites are sometimes not the answer.

23. Life has its ups and downs, but things will always look up (what comes down has to come up eventually...)

24. You experience a lot within a year (and some manage to survive them).

25. Ex-boyfriends (sooner or later) come back.

26. Writing posts about boyfriends is not such a good idea (especially if you two break up).

27. Life is an adventure.

28. Never waste beer.

29. Some men are men-children.

30. There is always some regret in life.

31. Tutorials are a waste of time sometimes.

32. Behind every asshole is a bitch that made him that way and behind every bitch is an asshole that made her that way. vicious cycle.

33. Making money is not easy.

34. Halloween can be dangerous if you don't give out the good candy.

35. Urban legends sometimes have a true back story to them.

36. Dr. Pepper brownies exist!

I know it is a long list, but trust me it is worth taking a look at it. I know I learned a few things from some of the posts I read (even if i did write some of them...and that is saying something.)

Hanny the coffee bean

Copulating Snails and a Discarded Condom

[Based on your level of maturity, this post may or may not be quite silly indeed.]

I sometimes encounter the strangest things as I take my walks around the school. For the most part, these little promenades go without much excitement. I see the same things as I take each lap. The grass, the cracks in the sidewalk, even a discarded black cardboard cup from Burger King that advertised the latest film of a notorious vampire/werewolf emotional tug-of-war printed in a distinctive large white script.

Last night, however, I saw two things that I did not expect.

This:

And this:

It took me a few seconds to realize what I had just seen.

I wonder who would have left a used condom near an elementary school. I mean, I know school is out for the summer, but kids still live in the vicinity of said school. I also wonder to whom it seemed like a good idea to need a condom at that particular location. "Oh, a school! Kewl! I always wanted to bang somebody against the metal fence surrounding an elementary school! That's so hot!"

Then again, its plausible to assume that said condom was cast off by the overly-passionate snails that I had just passed. I mean, those were the two creatures I had seen in proximity that clearly needed some protection.

Who am I to judge the despicable litterbug habits of two horny escargots?

Anyway, after seeing these two gastropods getting it on, the intrinsic human curiousity of how things do it urged me to find out more about their mating habits. After some internet research, I learned that certain species of snails are hermaphrodites that transfer spermatazoa through the right side of their heads when two of them hook up. This means that BOTH of them play the male and female roles.

...And I thought the male seahorse had it bad. That's really messed up, people.

I'm now scared of taking more walks.

Barb the French Bean

Some More Franchouillard Truths

In case you missed this post, please go read it to catch up on it.

7) They don't eat snails and frog legs every day.

(And before you ask: I've eaten a dozen snails. I have yet to try frog legs)

Being in Burgundy, a good number of restaurants prided themselves in serving the famous escargots de Bourgogne, but snails are reserved for once-in-a-while dinners.

They are served fully dead in a wonderful garlic butter sauce.

8) The same goes for foie gras.

Foie gras (literally, fat liver) is not a light dish, nor is it cheap. It comes from either goose or duck liver, goose being the preference for its rich taste. Because of this special status, feasting on this gastronomic treasure is associated with special occasions, like Christmas time.

Some foie gras, served atop fig bread with a drop of fig jam and a glass of sweet Juraçon wine...gosh. My tongue quivers at the thought of that sensational mélange of culinary nirvana!

Ahem. Let's continue with the list.

9) The Rooster is a symbol of France.

Yes, really.

After all, the territory they currently reside in was referred to in Latin as Gallia, their ancestors were the Gauls, their most famous leader was de Gaulle, and they refer to their country as La Gaul. The prideful and cocky Gallus domesticus really lucked out here. And why not? The French tend to strut as they walk on their two feet. The Rooster suits them comme un gant (like a glove).

When I think of French chickens, I think about those of the Bresse variety. They have white plumage, a bright red comb and blue feet, just like the colors of the French tricolore.

They are raised in the Bresse area. Bresse is technically NOT a région nor is it a département. But it does exist. It ranges somewhere from lower Burgundy to some part of the Rhône-Alpes.

These chickens are raised in the open and fed a special diet that gives their meat a distinct flavor. This means that they are not cheap.

Cocorico!

10) They think their country is shaped like a hexagon.

Very often in news reports, you will hear the broadcasters say l'Hexagone this and l'Hexagone that.

Oh, yeah. I totally see the resemblance. Can't mistake that.

11) They don't all have B.O.

I'm not saying that people with body odor don't exist. I admit that I sometimes stood next to someone who reeked so badly that I felt that I would pass out on the spot.

The French, however, take pride not only in their sense of dress but also in their cleanliness. My ex-boyfriend ALWAYS smelled great. So did all of my co-workers, friends, room mates...

I noticed that when I had the rare chance of encountering someone with body odor, it was either a teenaged boy who still had not discovered the joys of using deodorant, or an elderly person who had earned his right to not bathe frequently, or a tourist from some other European country. So, no worries. The French smell great. Particularly my Ex.

Barb the French Bean